


At Your Age, You Should Know

by Latigra



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akira Kurusu's Parents - Freeform, Basically High School AU in High School Canon, Coming of Age, Diary/Journal, F/M, Hacker-san, M/M, Ren is Akira's Older Brother, Rich Gymnast Pretty Boy Akira Meets Punk Badass Ryuji, Sweet Cinnamon Roll Akira, Warnings at Chapter End Notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:00:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29322834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latigra/pseuds/Latigra
Summary: It's true that things look bad right now, but I'm a nice kid from a nice family that has a decent amount of money. I can handle this. I don’t want to brag too much, but my harmless dweeb look is on point. I got myself some glasses I don’t need, picked a uniform that’s half a size too big for me, and I’m making sure to be quiet, polite, studious, unobtrusive, silent-as-a-freaking-saint.Everything will be fine.
Relationships: Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Takamaki Ann
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fic fourteen year old me would have written for a locked LJ comm if Persona 5 had been a fandom back then. Completely self-indulgent diary fic that more-or-less follows the plot of the first arc, except with more romantic misunderstanding, drama, and love triangles. I don't even think there's an audience for it besides me, but I'm posting it anyway. So when my memory troubles kick in and I forget ever writing it, I can come back and it'll be like someone else wrote the fic specifically designed for my self-indulgence. 
> 
> As usual, thanks to my friend Ro, who dutifully looks for typos and helps me not contradict myself in my google docs.

**4/10 - Sunday**

Hello, my dear diary, my closest friend and window to my soul! It is I, Akira Kurusu, most fearsome teenage delinquent in all of Tokyo! In all of Japan.

Okay, maybe this won’t be as fun a project as I thought. Just because my life is in shambles doesn’t mean I’ll have anything interesting to write about. Obviously, I can’t be too. . . candid in the notebook Sakura-san left me - probation stuff - since it might be going to the cops. And because I don’t want Sakura-san to be reading my private thoughts, assuming he’s even going to read my decoy journal. I can’t sort out why the guy took me in; he looks at me like I have shit smeared on my face, but he has his own business, so it’s not like he needs whatever Dad paid him to let me stay here. I doubt Dad paid that much to be rid of me to begin with.

Well, whatever. Beggars can’t be choosers. The attic is. . . well. It’s an attic. But it’s actually bigger than my room back home, so that’s nice. A silver lining. Or something. I’ll clean it, though I did send Mom a selfie in the dustiest, worst-lit spot I could find. Just in case it might give her a brief moment of guilt for leaving her son - her youngest, her _baby_ \- all alone in the big city with some guy she’s never even met. She just messaged back “ok” and nothing else, so probably not. Didn’t even ask if I had dinner. Which I didn’t, by the way.

But still. Big attic. I told myself I would stay positive while Dad droned on about how it’s my duty _not_ to embarrass the family further.

Sakura-san took me to visit my new school earlier today. It’s both bigger than the school back home, but not as big as I expected a big Tokyo school to be. Especially after getting disoriented at the station yesterday; I can’t believe just how many people are packed all on top of each other like sardines, close enough to have collective BO but still not looking each other in the eye. I’m a bit of an introvert myself, but damn. These city people are impressive in their determination to ignore each other’s existence.

My new homeroom teacher, a plain-looking woman with tired eyes, looks like she thinks I’m gonna show up to class with a knife or something. That’s not fair, but life sure isn’t. I’m hoping that if I mind my business and do my homework, she’ll relax. In fact, it’s almost guaranteed she’ll do that. My feeling is she is done with all this teaching stuff and just wants to be left alone. I don’t want to brag too much, but my harmless dweeb look is on point. I got myself some glasses I don’t need, picked a uniform that’s half a size too big for me, and I’m making sure to be quiet, polite, studious, unobtrusive, silent-as-a-freaking-saint. Ms. Kawakami is going to love me.

I was hoping to get a chance to check out my school route this afternoon, just to make sure I wouldn’t be late for my first day, but traffic was a complete disaster. There was some big accident at the tracks, so poor Sakura-san got stuck in a jam on the way back from Shujin. He didn’t even get to open his business. Maybe that’s why he was in such a bad mood tonight that he didn’t even offer me dinner. My stomach is grumbling.

Oh, well. I can’t focus too much on any of that. All hope is not lost. I googled it, and the trains are always running, so I’ll just have to wake up an hour early tomorrow to make sure I figure out how to get to school on time. They’ll have breakfast there. It will be fine. There are millions of people in Tokyo. So long as I keep my head down, I can get through this.

**4/11 - Monday**

I’m not getting through this.

Okay, so today started out decent. Sakura-san probably felt guilty about sending me to bed on an empty stomach last night, so he had a hot curry breakfast and coffee ready for me. It tasted pretty amazing too. I thought it was a great sign that I’d have an amazing first day, rain and all. And weird malware apps trying to mess up my phone, which I forgot to mention yesterday. Honestly, lots of stuff has been going on.

So I’m going to school, everything’s going well; I figured out the transfer at the station and everything, and then I meet her. _The_ her. The love of my life.

I don’t know her name yet, but I don’t need to. She is the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in my life, with curly blond hair and blue eyes straight out of an anime, and the longest legs, and the cutest hoodie with a green shamrock on the back. I think she has big boobs too; hard to tell with the raincoat. She goes to my school, and I wish I could spend the rest of this entry formulating my strategy on how I’m going to find out who she is and get her to notice me. I think I have a shot. She noticed me staring like an idiot, mouth hanging open and drooling probably, and she actually smiled at me!

Well, I might have imagined the smile. She didn’t run away from me or make an ugly face, so that means I haven’t completely ruined my chances with her. I hope.

Then, this broad-nosed, ugly-ass man shows up in a car and offers her a ride. I don’t even feel bad about the name-calling because 1) he is that ugly, and 2) holy shit. Holy shit. Where do I even begin?

So future Mrs. Kurusu accepts his offer of a ride. Poor judgment, but that’s fine. No one is perfect. Ugly man, who I figure out later is named Kamoshida, also offers me a ride, but my instincts have already warned me he’s bad news. That, and I was kinda nervous about getting near future Mrs. Kurusu without time to prepare. I have to figure out what to say so I don’t sound stupid.

So they drive off, and I’m just staring vaguely, I think. Still in shock over my soulmate’s beauty, I suppose, and then I hear a boy shouting. That turns out to be Sakamoto, a Shujin student. I’m gonna be honest, he did not make the best first impression - accused me of planning to rat him out about something, and I didn’t even know what he was talking about. I get the feeling Sakamoto is an actual delinquent. He definitely looks the part, or so I thought this morning, and then immediately felt bad. What’s an “actual” delinquent, anyway? _I’m_ an actual delinquent now, no matter how much I try to disguise myself.

What I mean is, Sakamoto bleaches his hair, wears his Shujin uniform pants low on his hips, somehow gets away with not wearing a uniform top, and curses like every other sentence. Don’t get me wrong, he looks kinda cool, and I bet I would like him if I was watching a movie. But I’m not watching a movie, so he’s just kinda scary.

Mostly to prove to myself that I’m not as superficial as everyone else, I decided to give Sakamoto a chance, just like I wish people had given me a chance. And by people, I mean my own stupid family. Who all bailed on me, except for my older brother Ren.

Anyway, I needed someone to help me get to school.

And that’s when it all went to hell. First of all, the school turned into a medieval castle.

I don’t mean that figuratively. That shit turned into a legit medieval castle right out of a movie set. In fact, Sakamoto thought that the school had _actually_ turned into a movie set. I would say that’s dumb, but if I was smart, I’d have turned right around when I saw the moat. I had to google to find out what a moat even is just now because describing it as “a big hole around a castle for protection” felt inadequate.

Already, this journaling thing is improving my vocabulary, hah hah hah.

Against my better judgment, I followed Sakamoto into the - and I repeat - medieval freaking castle. I don’t know what I expected? I guess I’m used to going with the flow, and Sakamoto really wanted to investigate.

It did not go well.

First of all, no set looks that good. It was huge, with lighting right out of an actual castle - dim because there were only torches, and sunlight could not get through. It smelled old, like mold was cracking the stone walls and covering the moldy red rugs and drapes everywhere.

I’m gonna try to remember the conversation (yes, Sakamoto curses this much, sorry).

“What in the fuck?” Sakamoto asked, looking around, eyes whirling like he couldn’t decide where to focus.

“I don’t know,” I said, because I most certainly did not. “Does it always look like this?”

“Dude, what? Is this your first day?”

“Ah, yeah,” I said. I’d been hoping that wouldn’t be immediately obvious. In my defense, giant castle with a moat.

“Oh.” Sakamoto suddenly whirled on me, looking me up and down like he hadn’t seen me for the ten or so minutes we’d been walking together. “You’re _the_ transfer student.”

“I guess so,” I said.

Our conversation got cut off because - get this - we were interrupted by these ugly-looking knights armed with western-style swords that exploded into shadows. And then reappeared as demons. I swear I’m not doing drugs. If someone hacks my google account and reads my journal, I. . . Please, Hacker-san, I’m trying to plot an anime. I’m not crazy or high.

As it turned out, Sakamoto was not tough enough to take on literal demons despite how badass he looks. We were lucky that the knights decided to haul us to the castle dungeons, which also looked like they were straight out of a movie. I spotted metal contraptions that looked suspiciously like torture devices.

The villain of my anime is going to be Kamoshida. After his demon knights “arrested” me and Sakamoto for “trespassing” (it’s our school!), Kamoshida showed up and tried to kill Sakamoto. And now, I must pause to describe what this man was wearing. Hacker-san. I wish I could draw.

He was wearing a bright red cape with a heart pattern in two shades of pink, a white fluffy white fur collar, a tiny golden crown, and a pink speedo. Neon pink. Legs hairy as a bear. I swear on my mother’s grave. Like, I spotted some decent muscle that might have been attractive if he hadn’t been dressed like a clown. And also not tried to murder me and Sakamoto. Somehow, “murder” doesn’t sound strong enough.

This tall, muscular man who looked like he could have snapped Sakamoto in half ordered two of those knights to hold Sakamoto so he could start punching and kicking him. And yelling that he was trash, that he was going to die for not knowing his place. I wanted to help, but my throat closed up, and there were two other demon knights holding me back. I think I managed to scream at Kamoshida to stop, then he told me to wait my turn and called _me_ trash. I wish I could say that filled me with energy, but mostly, I wanted to cry. I thought that even if I managed to get to my phone, Ren was too far away.

As you’ve guessed by the fact that I’m here updating my journal, Kamoshida did not murder us. It wasn’t because he suddenly grew a conscience and realized killing teens is wrong. I heard a voice. Multiple voices. Again, not doing drugs here.

I was extremely scared, but also furious. I don’t know Sakamoto at all, but he did try to help me run away, even though he doesn’t know me either. And this clown was calling him trash while beating him and literally spitting on him. And saying I’m next. We hadn’t even done anything to him. Maybe it was the terror, or the pain (the demon knights weren’t exactly being gentle with me), but then I started remembering the supposed “assault” I committed. The guy was drunk and spitting at the woman and calling me trash. Saying my life was over, and I would regret what _I’d_ done.

I wish I could say my heroic rage or whatever triggered something, but mostly, I _felt_ like trash, like I should have kept my head down, kept walking home, and then I would _be_ home, bored with my homework, sneaking around with my ex-girlfriend Yumi, worrying about gymnastics, and wondering what I should study in college. Instead, I stuck my nose where it didn’t belong, and now I was about to be killed in some medieval castle by a douchebag wearing a pink speedo.

 _That’s_ when I heard the voice. I don’t remember the gist of the speech - it was cool, though - asking me if I’d made a mistake. Which, I probably did, but that pissed me off too. It shouldn’t ever be a mistake to help people.

It kind of gets fuzzy then. The voice started talking to me about rebellion, and I felt hot all over. Like I stepped from a snowstorm into a sauna at the highest setting. My throat closed up, and I tried to scream.

The demon knights tried to hold me down, but the steam coming off me must have burned them. A mask grafted itself on my face while the voice kept talking about the fires of rebellion. I think Sakamoto screamed. The mask burned my face, so I tore it off. It was. . . Hacker-san, I don’t have words. You know in action movies, when a dude gets his fingernails ripped off with pliers? Like that. But on my face. Blood dripped down my cheeks and neck.

It was worth it though, because I knew that Arsene could take on the demon knights.

Arsene is the voice. I didn’t have a mirror, but I’m pretty sure Arsene is a badass. There are giant black wings and these really cool red pants.

Although the demon knight turned into a super-cute pumpkin thing holding a lantern. Still had to eliminate it, but it was _really_ cute. I feel like I could have talked to it, come to some kind of understanding, but speedo douchebag was still there threatening to kill me and Sakamoto. Sacrifices had to be made.

Sakamoto turned out to be pretty sharp. He helped me lock speedo douchebag in his own cell, which considering he’d just gotten assaulted _and_ had witnessed the disaster I described above? Impressive.

With Kamoshida locked behind his own cell, he whirled on me and started yelling. “Dude, what the fuck happened to your clothes?”

Which is how I realized that my _clothes_ changed! Before I could even check myself, there was a puff of smoke, and poof! I’m wearing my uniform. Sakamoto looked like he was having a meltdown.

“What was that thing you summoned? Where are we? _What the fuck is happening?_ ”

So then I couldn’t have a meltdown, ‘cause we were still stuck in the dungeon. Someone had to keep their shit together.

I shrugged and told Sakamoto we needed to escape. We left Kamoshida yelling bullshit in his own cell and. . . it got weird again. We were underground, keeping with the nefarious medieval dungeon theme. There was a waterfall, barrels hell knows what all over the place, cells, and most of the doors were locked.

One of the cells had a talking cat. I’m just gonna drop that in here. There’s just no way to ease into the “talking cat” portion of the story. Though Morgana (the talking cat) swears he is _not_ a talking cat. But a human. Who got turned into a talking cat. Which, okay. I ripped a mask off my overheated face and used what I suspect is a magical manifestation of my soul to beat a cute demon pumpkin to death. So. I should keep an open mind. Maybe.

Morgana had adorable cat ears and black fur, but he stood on two legs and had tiny hands with opposable thumbs. He didn’t even reach my knee, and though he had a childish voice, a shiver crawled up my spine every time he spoke. Despite how terrible that sounds, I wish I’d worked up the courage to bend down and stroke his soft fur.

Human or not, Morgana helped us get out of there. It involved a statue of Kamoshida and me sticking my hand in its mouth. Gross. And Morgana could fight too. He called his thing “Zorro”. I think Arsene is cooler, which I guess doesn’t matter. But I want it on record. I should’ve looked at myself more to see what my costume looks like. All I remember now is crimson gloves.

We fought a demon that actually looked like a demon from cartoons - thin bat wings, stick-like limbs, and a spike coming out of its crotch. I didn’t design it, just reporting what I saw.

And then Sakamoto - bless him, he was just taking in all this circus, and he can’t really defend himself - finds someone in another one of those shitty dungeon cells. Some kid wearing a PE uniform that Sakamoto recognized. Morgana said that was not really the kid, but Kamoshida’s cognition of him, which I don’t get. But the guy didn’t seem keen to get out of there, and I definitely was, so I convinced Sakamoto that we needed to go. The main exit was well-guarded, but Morgana helped us escape via some window thing by the side.

Next thing I knew, Sakamoto and I were out in the Aoyama-Itchome district, late as hell for school. I’m back in my uniform, feeling kind of woozy, with Arsene in the back of my mind. I can still feel him there, kind of amused or something. He’s not talking though, so I’ve decided that means I’m not crazy.

Anyway, the rest of the day was a trainwreck. First, we ran into cops who immediately assumed we were delinquents because Sakamoto looks like Sakamoto. I’m just being honest here. Bleached hair may look cool, but it’s not the kind of look you can pull off with a record, which I’m sensing Sakamoto has. I managed to get us out of there, and Sakamoto led us back to Shujin, which was thankfully not a castle by this point. Of course, the cops had called the school and the principal came out to tsk tsk that both me and Sakamoto were ungrateful troublemakers. Whatever. I tried not to be late for my first day of school, but considering I almost _died_ , I’m not gonna beat myself up about it too much.

Besides, I have more interesting things to report, Hacker-san.

Kamoshida also came out to the front of the school, dressed in regular athletic gear (not the pink speedo), and he started needling Sakamoto immediately. But like, in a more subtle way? If I hadn’t just seen him beating the shit out of Sakamoto and spitting on his face and threatening to kill us, I’d probably would’ve thought Sakamoto was a big rude idiot. I might not be as smart as I thought I was. I thought Kamoshida was a little suspect when he offered my future wife a ride, but not like “choke and murder teenagers and keep them in a medieval dungeon” suspect. In my defense, though, I didn’t realize that kind of suspect was possible.

Anyway, we got lucky, and neither the principal nor Kamoshida seemed interested in making a fuss about us being late. Silver lining. But then, I went into the school and it was obvious immediately that 1) everyone hated Sakamoto, and 2) there were already rumors about me. I haven’t even done anything yet, and apparently, someone decided I’m plotting to bomb the school. Someone uploaded a pdf of my police report to social media. This really sucks.

Oh, and Kamoshida really is king of the castle, to keep with the theme. He’s the volleyball team coach, and I’m getting the sense that volleyball is a Big Deal at Shujin. Stupid school. I might not have guessed he’s a sadist psycho without the castle incident, but he’s clearly an asshole.

Speaking of, Kawakami already thinks I’m one. An asshole, that is. The only thing saving me is that she seems done with teaching and wants nothing to do with problem students. As long as I don’t cause any major issues, I bet she’ll leave me alone.

I haven’t shared the best news, though. My future wife is in the same homeroom class as me! And my seat is behind her!!! I talked to her, just to let her know I remembered her from the morning. When she was nice to me. I mean, I think she was nice to me. Everything kinda went to hell after; I almost died. She didn’t really look happy about me talking to her, but also didn’t tell me to shut up or anything. Maybe she’s just shy. I just need to reconsider my approach with her.

It’s fine. Girls like me. I never had a problem back in my old school. Before the assault thing. The assault isn’t going anywhere, though. What am I supposed to do? Never talk to girls again? I bet that’s what they want. But just give me time, Hacker-san. I swear by the end of this year, I’ll have girls lining up to date me.

How long have I been rambling? I guess this is what people do when they have no friends and are exiled from their family. Talk to imaginary hackers on their google account.

Well, I have Sakamoto, I guess. He says he wants to try and go back to the castle. I’m not sure that’s a good idea, but I also don’t know how we would even do it. It’d be a waste of time to worry too much about it.

Good night, Hacker-san.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Kamoshida being Kamoshida, so physical abuse and death threats to kids.
> 
> My [twitter account!](https://twitter.com/LaTigra46636273)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Legit have been scribbling this on google docs during work downtimes lol

**4/12 - Tuesday**

We managed to get back to the castle.

What a disaster, Hacker-san. Again, I don’t even know where to start.

Did I mention the app or the dreams? I don’t remember if I did. Recap: an app with a red eye icon appeared on my phone when I arrived in Tokyo, and I can’t delete it. Also, I’ve been having weird dreams about two Western-looking little blonde girls and a creepy goblin guy with ridiculous eyebrows and a very long nose. They’re talking about my powers and my “rehabilitation”. Which is nonsense; I do _not_ need to be rehabilitated. I didn’t do anything wrong.

Anyway, I was planning to ignore the castle thing, just get back to staying out of trouble and figuring out how to get the girl who sits in front of me to talk to me. It’s Ryuji’s fault I got sidetracked.

Ryuji is Sakamoto, by the way. You can only visit a magic medieval castle so many times with a dude before you’re officially bros. Also, he has powers too.

Okay, let me start from the beginning.

I met another hot girl today at the station. It’s not related to the castle stuff, but this is my diary and my love life is important. Her name is Kasumi Yoshizawa, and she has very long hair that she dyed bright red. I like red. And I think she likes me because I’m her senpai, and because I tried to help her help an old lady at the station. She probably has heard all the rumors about me bringing a bomb to school, but she was nice to me anyway.

Either I’m _that_ hot, or she actually has some principles and is unwilling to believe stupid rumors. Whatever it is, it’s good news for me.

That being said, there’s no challenge in getting her to like me if she automatically likes me, so I’m still going for the hot girl who sits in front of me. Her name is Ann Takamaki, and she's a model from New York. Or Finland. Some Western country; it doesn't matter which. I was paying attention to all the rumors, and the gist is that she's a famous model who is dating Kamoshida. And me. And a whole bunch of other dudes.

I have my doubts. Obviously, she's not dating me, and I don’t buy the whole thing about her dating Kamoshida. He’s old as hell. And she seems super grossed out by him. I heard her telling him they couldn’t hang out because she had appendicitis. Can you imagine? A girl being so grossed out by you she pretends to have appendicitis? Appendicitis! What a loser Kamoshida is. You're like thirty, and you haven't learned to catch a hint?

Anyway, my plan is to find a way to tell Takamaki-san, Ann-chan, Ann-sama of models, that I get her pain. That's how I'll get her to like me. I'll point out that I also have a bunch of jealous, stupid losers talking shit about me behind my back, and we should stick it to all of them by dating and making out in hiding, but not really. Making out in places where we'll obviously get caught. And once I get to kiss her and take her on dates, she’ll see what a good boyfriend I am. It worked with Yumi.

So things are good. I got to school on time. Everyone's giving me the stink eye, but whatever. No castle.

And then I ran into Ryuji, who, of course, wanted to visit the castle to further investigate the Kamoshida thing.

He kinda cornered me right after school, when I got sorta lost in the courtyard, and said that we needed to talk. One of the guys passing by stared at us with huge eyes, then Ryuji turned to him and went “are you lost, Mishima? Can we help you?” Except he said it in a really hard voice, and this poor Mishima fellow balked and almost stumbled as he rushed away from us. The guy already had band aids on his face and neck. Was there a reason to intimidate him more?

I figured I should follow Ryuji before he got us arrested or something, but I told him we should go somewhere private. He led me to the school roof, ignoring a sign that said we shouldn’t go up there.

“So, you wanna go back to that castle, right?” he asked, without preamble.

“Ah,” I said, fiddling with my glasses to avoid his gaze. There was no railing to keep someone from falling off the edge, but I guessed the ground wasn't too far down. “Not exactly.”

“Dude.”

I huffed, still avoiding his gaze and resisting an urge to bite my lips. “It was. . . ah, dangerous.” Was there a way to tell him I was scared, without telling him I was scared?

“Shit,” hummed Ryuji. “Your record’s total bullshit, isn’t it?”

I opened my mouth and found that I didn’t want to admit that. Which was dumb, considering I’d been trying to convince everyone that what happened was in no way my fault, much less me _assaulting_ someone.

“Have you ever even been in a fight?” asked Ryuji.

“Yes!” I said, quickly. “Yesterday.”

Instead of looking impressed, Ryuji looked up at the sky and groaned.

“Hey, I saved you,” I told him. “Sorry I’m not stupid, so I don’t want to go back there.”

“What about Kamoshida?” he demanded, looking back at me. “You’re just gonna let him keep treating this school like his personal playground.”

“I mean,” I shrugged, “he’s a teacher. If you just follow the rules and avoid him, it should be fine.”

“Fuuuuuck,” said Ryuji, rubbing his forehead. “You’re a teacher’s pet.”

“I am not.” Seriously. “It just. What we saw in that place was crazy. Like a shared hallucination. I checked google, and that can happen to people sometimes. Kamoshida in reality didn’t even know what happened, so it might not have anything to do with him.”

“It does,” said Ryuji, hands curling into fists. “It does, and that castle might be the only way to stop him.”

“You can’t know that,” I tried to argue. “Please-”

“I’ll just go back by myself if you’re too fucking chicken,” said Ryuji, whirling around to leave the roof.

I wasn't crazy about the idea; I want that on record. But I still felt really bad about letting Ryuji go on his own, since he couldn’t defend himself in that castle. I didn't think Ryuji would manage to find the place, though, so I was like, okay. Let's look for the place.

Unfortunately, Ryuji is way smarter than I gave him credit for. He noticed the app, which apparently, I mentioned to him at some point. Or he heard a voice coming from my phone. I don't remember the details, but the point is that when we got to the school entrance, he asked to see my phone. I couldn't think of a good reason to _not_ let him see my phone, and the malware app took us to the castle.

I guess, in the spirit of fairness, I can't entirely blame Ryuji for the ensuing catastrophe. I was also curious about the whole thing, plus I like my magic outfit. Plus-plus, I can feel Arsene in the back of my mind, so I wasn't too worried.

Boy, I should have been.

We found Morgana right away, which is good, because we couldn't have figured out how to get back in the castle without him. Kamoshida remembered us escaping, and he beefed up security. Morgana tried to explain what's going on, about cognitions and things, and got really shitty with Ryuji because he didn't catch on right away.

Morgana is kind of a dick. I don't get what’s going on either; I'm just smart enough not to shout about it. I don't want to sound dumb. If I just stay quiet and wait for further information to reveal itself, I'll figure it out. Or people will assume I figured it out, and that’s usually the next best thing.

Besides, Ryuji is way smarter than people realize. He got me a model gun for the castle trip, which - get this - somehow turned into a real gun that automatically reloads after every battle. Inside the castle, I mean. I didn’t think I’d be able to use it, but it wasn’t that different than playing FPS video games from the West. And Mom said I was wasting my precious free time. Arsene helped me aim too. He’s still in the back of my mind, smirking at everything and treating me like I’m some baby.

After we sorted that out, Ryuji reminded me about the guy in the PE uniform we saw yesterday. I’m gonna be honest, I’d already forgotten about him. Morgana already said that those guys are not real, just cognitions of how Kamoshida sees his students. That bastard’s creepy imagination is none of my business. But then Ryuji said we could use what we learn in the creepy castle to take down the real Kamoshida, and that’s an idea worth pursuing.

We found a bunch of the demon knights physically torturing Kamoshida’s imaginary versions of the volleyball team. I know I said I wouldn’t judge other people’s daydreams, but it was creepy, Hacker-san. There was just that castle and beat-up teenagers. Not even a single dream of him, like, making one of the students an Olympic volleyball player. Do they play volleyball at the Olympics? Aren’t teachers supposed to want their students to succeed?

Haha. I bet Ms. Kawakami daydreams about a hole opening up and swallowing me so she doesn’t have to deal with me.

That would be basically understandable, though. The stuff with Kamoshida was next level. All the way back out of the dungeon, there were torture set-ups with the vollebal kids. I was getting the feeling that this dude probably does some nasty things in real life - remember that kid Mishima who’s all bruised up? Well, I didn’t write about it, I don’t think, but Mishima is another kid in my class who looks dejected and has a busted face. He’s on the volleyball team.

My suspicions were confirmed when Kamoshida and his demon goons caught us on the way out of his awful castle. He almost killed us, but we obviously chased him off, since I’m here with you, Hacker-san. Before that, he started shitting on Ryuji, about how he messed up the track team because the other coach was talented. And broke Ryuji’s leg, just so the track team wouldn’t have its star anymore. And. . . well, let me quote:

“You’re just a piece of trash who refused to respect my greatness.” This was an unironic statement.

Worst part is (I guess), it didn’t sound like Kamoshida even had problems with Ryuji himself, just with the previous track team coach. Imagine that. A grown man breaking a kid’s leg because he’s mad there’s another coach in his high school who embarrassed him. It’s so needlessly petty and cruel, I probably wouldn’t have believed it if Kamoshida himself hadn’t admitted it. I guess that’s why no one believed Ryuji.

I was feeling like shit about it, but not even, like, mad. Kamoshida isn’t a cool villain, he’s just pathetic. He’s going after kids! And then his demon knights turned into these gross demon horse things with green skin and horns, and neither Morgana or me had any powers that were strong against them. So we were getting our asses handed to us, and I’m feeling like Kamoshida’s overall worminess just zapped the energy right out of my bones. Morgana and I beat some of the demon horses, but they just kept coming.

I’m there thinking, oh no, I’m gonna die by some has-been volleball coach in a pink speedo. Before I got Ann to let me touch her boobs even once. It’s just so pathetic; I need a rush of magic steam, Arsene. Do something.

And then, Ryuji got a burst of magic steam. Let me tell you, Hacker-san, the process looks painful from the outside. It was like he was having a freaking seizure, and a metal skull mask just, like, welded itself to his face. Ryuji ripped it off, which, from experience. . . pliers to your face. Worth it, though. Ryuji’s clothes changed into a leather-pirate biker get-up and a cool red tie. I wish I could draw to show you, Hacker-san.

He hit one of the knights with a metal pipe. The _crack_ of his skull shattering seemed to reverberate all over the castle. Kamoshida let out this weird, questioning squeal, then he scuttered back as Ryuji stepped forward.

“You’re the one who’s trash, Suguru Kamoshida,” said Ryuji. The remaining demon knights hesitated, as though waiting for more orders. “You has-been piece of _shit_.”

“How _dare_ you?” Kamoshida tried to sound commanding, but his voice got high-pitched and thready.

“I bet your little medal didn’t mean a squirt of piss out in the real world,” said Ryuji, absently hitting the palm of his hand with his pipe as demon blood dripped onto the floor in front of him. “Real men didn’t give a fuck, and grown woman couldn’t get pass your ugly nose and pathetic simpering.”

“Now’s our chance!” yelled Morgana. “Let’s get them!”

Ryuiji’s persona is Captain Kidd, and it has an actual boat. That sounds silly, but it’s actually cool as hell. Arsene better look at least that cool. Still haven’t found a mirror in the castle.

Captain Kidd has lightning powers that worked against the demon horses. I was thinking we were in the clear, and then Kamoshida’s cognition of Ann Takamaki showed up, and holy shit. Hacker-san, if you thought Kamoshida was gross and pathetic before.

His version of Ann was just her in a tacky bikini, looking all loopy and clinging to him. She doesn’t like him! It’s obvious. And he’s old, anyway. I hope that when I’m thirty, I could get a high school girl to like me, which I wouldn’t, because I also hope that when I’m thirty, I’m not gross and pathetic. Ugh, he’s probably being so disgusting to the real Ann in real life. Ryuji and I really gotta do something about this. Even if Ann never gives me the time of day, this is just sad.

Morgana told us about some investigation he’s running about his true form or whatever. It sounds like more complicated nonsense than I want to deal with, but the Kamoshida stuff? That’s serious. Ryuji thinks that he’s the one who flapped his mouth about my record at Shujin. Sounds like the least he would do. And I don’t even want to contemplate too much about what he’s planning to do - or _doing_ , gross - to poor Takamaki-san. We _have_ to do something about that.

Which I told Ryuji when we were back in the real world, and then something really weird happened. I heard a voice - _another_ one, not Arsene this time - giving a speech about the winds of rebellion or something. Now there’s a tab for “confidants” in the malware app that says he’s my Chariot arcana. While I was hearing all that, Ryuji dragged me to an alley close to Shujin so we could talk.

“So you’re in now, right?” he asked, while I looked around at all the trash cans with disgust.

“Ah, yeah,” I said, looking at him. “He’s probably hurting more students. How come no one believed you?”

“There weren’t any witnesses,” said Ryuji, shrugging. “You still sense your Persona too? What was it, Arsene?”

“Yeah,” I admitted. “He doesn’t talk or anything, but he’s like. . . there. Watching things.”

“I can feel Captain Kidd too,” said Ryuji, rubbing his eyes. “It’s weird, but I think I can deal. Now I can take that fucker down.”

I tried to ask him if his app said I’m a Chariot for him, but it was like he couldn’t hear the word itself. He heard the word “confidant”, but he thought I was trying to tell him that we wouldn’t tell anyone else about this whole thing, which _duh_. Best case scenario, they’d think we’re crazy. Arsene thinks it’s a bad idea to push it, that Ryuji shouldn’t know about the confidant thing. He thinks it’s a bad idea for me to tell you, Hacker-san, but you’re not real. I googled it, and it’s like a narrative device thing for your diary. I’m probably not gonna be able to have a real job like Ren, who’s an accountant, so I better get to learning how to entertain people. Dad’s gonna be so pissed when I join the entertainment industry. I’m so excited.

What was I talking about?

Oh, right, Ryuji being a Chariot of some kind. I decided not to say anything about that because Arsene thinks I should be private about it, and I don’t wanna sound crazy anyway. Ryuji and I went to eat ramen together, and I told him about the thing with my assault charge. He gets how shitty it is that I’m blacklisted from the family because I tried to help a random lady. And Mom said I would never have respectable friends after what I “did”.

I guess Ryuji’s not “respectable”, though he doesn’t have an official criminal record. That makes sense, since Shujin is supposed to be a prestigious academy. The only reason I got in with my record is that Ren has a bunch of connections in Tokyo and made some phone calls. I wouldn’t be surprised if he made a “donation” to the school, or got someone richer than him who likes him to do it. Ryuji probably wouldn’t be allowed to set foot in the premises if he had a criminal record.

Everyone treats him badly anyway. That’s just more evidence of how messed-up our society is. Ryuji is cool and smart, but he looks a certain way and everyone just writes him off. They’re dumb. Ryuji is hot; you can tell he’s fit, and he cares about other people. If Ryuji was a girl, I’d totally try to date her. Him. If I was a girl. . . Oh shit, thank god I’m not a girl. Even if I was ugly, I’d probably have to deal with assholes like Kamoshida slobbering over me, and then, I’d have to pretend I have appendicitis. Sounds exhausting.

I actually am exhausted, now that I think about it. The castle drains the life out of me. Sakura-san acting like I’m gonna shit the bed every time he sees me isn’t fun either. I suppose he doesn’t know much about me, except I’m a delinquent and I almost ditched school on my first day. Hopefully, I can still win him over.

I should stay positive. I have Ryuji and Arsene, and even Morgana, and a plan to take Kamoshida, which will hopefully get Ann to fall in love with me. Then, everyone back home will have to eat their words about what a failure I am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [twitter account!](https://twitter.com/LaTigra46636273)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where I started adding high school drama soap opera shit.

**4/13 - Wednesday**

Emergency: the creepy old man in my dreams is a confidant.

His name’s Igor, and he’s the Fool arcana. I do not feel good about this. Ryuji being bound to my soul or whatever is one thing - he’s cool - but a creepy old dude in my dreams? Arsene agrees that I should be careful about this.

Another crazy day today, by the way. I didn't end up in the castle, thank god (probably), but it was like an emotional rollercoaster. First of all, I googled Kamoshida on the way to school, and he is the worst. He's a former Olympic volleyball star, and, just for the record, volleyball is not a cool sport. He's like 198 cm tall, which means he's probably not even that good. How can you suck at any sport when you're a physical giant? Google says that probably means he'll have a heart attack early, and good, because if anyone freaking deserves it, it's him.

You won't think that's mean of me to say once I tell you what he _did_ , Hacker-san.

There was a rally for the volleyball team at school, mandatory, so Ryuji and I had to go. We were minding our own business; I was trying to catch Ann-chan's eyes while the teachers droned on about how we need to support the volleyball team. Support them at what? Being dweebs? Ann looked as depressed as we did. I think she did see me a bit. I smiled at her when she caught my eye, and though she didn't smile back or anything, she also didn't make a face or frown. Practically a hug in girl language, so I'm feeling pretty good about myself.

For a second there, I felt like things would go well, and then Kamoshida started babbling about the exhibition match. I don't care about any of that, but then he says it's a good opportunity to "welcome the new transfer student", and it's like, oh. I'm about to eat shit. I'm sitting there with Ryuji, and Kamoshida goes "I'm sure Kurusu-kun wouldn't turn down a chance to show us what he's made of".

Hacker-san, I got kicked out of the gymnastics team the moment the assault thing happened. Then, I was grounded, because my parents were too embarrassed to let me use the school gym, not that I'd have been allowed to go even if they'd backed me up. Sure, I had the park, but I was freaking feeling sorry for myself. The only good news is I was too depressed to eat much, so I didn't get too fat in the last few weeks.

I couldn't chicken out, though. That would have been worse than eating shit, so I just shrugged and got up, hoping I looked cool and not nervous. Ryuji got up too, and whispered to me "Dude, you're about to eat shit".

Yeah, bro, I know. Thanks.

Kamoshida says I'm partnering up with Mishima, the guy I told you about before. Which. . . The fact that Mishima is even on the team is like a human rights violation. Like Kamoshida dragged him out of the computer lab to shit on him on the field. No hate to him, but he sucked at volleyball.

But I was actually doing pretty good, though I've never played volleyball outside of PE class in grade school. I don't know if it's because Kamoshida's players live under constant fear of punishment or because they think I'm a member of the yakuza or because Arsene can boost me out in the real world. I was winning, even though Mishima was honestly a liability. Turns out having quick reflexes and good coordination is applicable to even the lamest of sports.

Almost, I felt bad, since the point of a rally is to psych up the team, not have them get owned by the transfer delinquent. No one was cheering; you could hear the proverbial freaking pin drop in that gym. But frick it, I thought. Kamoshida was the one who said I had to play.

Then, Ann-chan actually clapped for me when I scored! See, Hacker-san! I told you she likes me! I gave her a huge smile and a thumbs up, even though everyone else was looking at us like we took a dump on the floor. We're not even the ones who set that shit up.

At this point, Kamoshida said the game got him so pumped he wanted to play. Like, bro. I already won this round. You wanted me to embarrass me, but I'm awesome, so I owned your team and the pretty girl clapped for _me_. Even if he were to beat me, did he think that would have made him look _good_? He's like three times my size and a literal professional volleyball player who got an Olympic medal at his prime. It would be like if I went to the local grade school and challenged one of the junior gymnasts. Just by contemplating that, I already lost.

In fact, I was so sure of my victory, I just looked at him and went for my douchiest smirk/shrug combo and went "let's do it".

Poor Mishima looked like he was about to shit himself, but like I said. This wasn't about winning. I'd already won. If I lasted ten seconds against that bastard, I'd already have shown him up. Arsene was sure we could do it.

I lasted more than ten seconds, or so it felt. Kamoshida must have realized he had to scale back his strength for a junior field, cause it takes no skill to overshoot when you're an adult playing in a high school gym. And I'm very nimble on my feet, so it was awesome, Hacker-san. I wasn't fast enough to actually score against him, but I didn't need to be. He was hitting the ball with enough force that it hurt my wrist a little to launch it back at him, but I was managing. Eventually, he realized what a trap he set for himself, so he kept getting angrier and angrier.

At this point, a smarter man than me would have identified a graceful way to "lose". Instead, I decide to take advantage of the fact that no one's cheering and laugh loudly enough that everyone can hear.

Kamoshida's face got so red, I swear he was gonna explode right on the field. Time for me to lose, so I just dodged the next ball. It'd have been awesome, except poor Mishima was standing right behind me, and the ball hit him square in the face. Kamoshida meant to hurt me, Hacker-san. It was like in the dungeons, when one of the players was getting hit by a mechanized ball-launching thing. Poor Mishima was bleeding everywhere. The gym burst into scared rambling from everyone.

So, the new rumor is that I'm on steroids. People are so dumb, Hacker-san. What’s more likely? That I have yakuza contacts giving me steroids or that I'm an athlete? My Instagram account is not private. I don’t post much, but I guarantee these losers looked me up, and all my ex-friends constantly tagged me in a bunch of posts. It wouldn’t take the world’s best detective to see I just work out.

Maybe my friends deleted all the posts with me?

It doesn’t freaking matter. The point is Ryuji and I were going to track down the volleyball players we saw in Kamoshida’s castle, but the entire school was apoplectic about me breaking Mishima’s nose. Like, they didn’t say that outright, but somehow, everyone got pissed at me because I “made” Kamoshida mad. They wouldn’t even talk to me, and Ryuji didn’t have much luck. Shujin lost its damn mind about this douchebag, and I don’t get it! It’s just volleyball! You’d think he was single-handedly holding up the school’s walls with the way everyone talks about him.

Ann actually approached me in the afternoon, when I was hanging out by myself in the courtyard. My heart started galloping when I realized she was walking towards me, and I tried to decide whether I should smile, or if she liked boys who were all expressionless and silent. Not that I made up my mind before I started waving at her and smiling, but wobbly and confused.

“What are you planning to do to Kamoshida?” she asked me, without even saying hello.

“What?”

“What are you gonna _do_ to him?” she practically spat at me, blue eyes narrowed into slits.

“He’s not the one who started shit,” I heard Ryuji say, then I looked behind Ann and found him staring at me.

“I am not talking to you,” yelled Ann, without looking back. She stared straight into my eyes. “Whatever it is you’re planning, I want to help. Let me help.”

“You couldn’t help,” said Ryuji, rushing to stand next to me. “This has nothing to do with you, so go back to taking your selfies and stay out of our way.”

For a moment, it looked like Ann-chan was about to start crying, which would have been the worst. I opened my mouth to apologize, but she called us jerks and ran away, wiping at her eyes.

“Shouldn’t we at least hear her out?” I asked Ryuji, once I was sure she was out of earshot. “Everyone says she’s Kamoshida’s girl, but it’s obvious that she despises him.”

“Dude, don’t think with your dick,” said Ryuji.

“I was not!”

“What exactly do you wanna tell her?” demanded Ryuji. “That the school turned into a medieval castle where we got magic powers?”

I frowned, which Ren says makes me look like I’m pouting, but it’s not like I can help what my face does.

“Look, it wouldn’t be safe for her,” said Ryuji. Which was true, I guess. “And what was that stunt at the rally today? Was that Arsene?”

“No,” I said.

Ryuji stared at me.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I was on the gymnastics team back home, and it’s not like I won or anything. I just didn’t completely suck.”

“True,” said Ryuji.

“Why is everyone acting like that was my fault, anyway? He’s the one who made me play. Was I supposed to just let him bully me?”

Ryuji opened his mouth, then his shoulders drooped, and he sighed. Like someone punched the air out of him. “You’re right,” he said, looking at his feet. “It’s just that he’s pissed now, and he’s probably gonna take it out on the volleyball team. But that’s not your fault. Sorry.”

Ugh, why is everyone at this stupid school so stupid about Kamoshida? It’s volleyball! Who cares?

Ryuji was right to be mad though, wasn’t he? I saw what Kamoshida does to his team in the castle, and all the volleyball players walking around the school with suspicious bandages. I could’ve just thrown the match to the players in the first place, and instead, I humiliated them and showed off in front of Kamoshida’s girl. Mom always said I would get into trouble for being a showoff, and that’s fine. But I don’t want to get anyone else in trouble.

We caught Mishima on his way out, his nose all swollen, and he straight-up confirmed that Kamoshida is abusing the team. And the other adults know about it, but no one does anything because the volleyball team. . . I don't even know. Gets Shujin prestige, or something? It's crazy.

Kamoshida saw us talking to Mishima and came over to make him go to volleyball practice with a busted face. Not to be self-centered, Hacker-san, but the douchebag was looking straight at me when he said it. For once, I kept my mouth shut. No one has _ever_ looked at me like that, holy shit. Not even the drunk guy who got me arrested. If I'm found dead in the gym one of these days, we know who did it.

Sakura-san left me some curry so I wouldn't go to bed hungry, so I guess it's not all bad. I was afraid someone would call him to say what a douche I was.

My brother Ren also texted me a little. He said - hold up, I'll just C&P the log:

* * *

**> >>Bro**  
Aki, hope you're doing okay  
Sorry I didn't contact you; work has been crazy

**Me >>>**  
I'm okay  
The coffee shop owner is feeding me  
Lots of room in the attic and extra blankets  
Already made a friend  
Also at least two hot girls are into me

**> >>Bro**  
I knew my cool little bro could do it  
Just give Mom some time  
You're like her superstar  
Dad's worried too; he actually mentioned you twice last time we talked  
Twice!

**Me >>>**  
Hahaha🤣🤣🤣  
He thinks I'm trash now

**> >>Bro**  
I'm sorry they're dicks to you  
I just sent you some cash so you can dine and wine those hot girls  
Take care of yourself, Aki

**Me >>>**  
Thank you

* * *

I couldn’t think of anything else to say. It kind of feels better when my family ignores me. At least I can be mad at them instead of feeling like shit about myself. I couldn’t turn the money down, since there’s no shower in the attic, so I’ll have to pay to use the bathhouse nearby. Whatever. Now that Ren has a loser brother to send money to, he can brag to his dates about how caring and sensitive he is. Win-win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [twitter account!](https://twitter.com/LaTigra46636273)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS AT END NOTE

**4/14 - Thursday**

Somehow, today was shittier than yesterday. I found out- It makes me wanna throw up. Kamoshida is disgusting.

Morgana came out of the castle, and he’s a real cat in the real world. Or like a normal cat. Ryuji and I hear human speech when he talks, but I guess everyone else just hears meowing? You’d think I’d have to spend the next ten pages talking about that, but today sucked. _Sucked._

Okay, so Morgana was saying we might be able to change Kamoshida’s personality or desires or whatever if we infiltrate the castle and steal his “treasure”, which I assume is like, ugh, metaphorical. I bet it’s something gross or pathetic. Or both. Ryuji has his doubts, and so do I. Especially because Morgana says he doesn’t know what would happen to a person if you steal their treasure. They might even die, and even though it couldn’t be traced back to Ryuji and me (I hope?), I still don’t want to be a _murderer_. Ryuji agrees, and Kamoshida actually legit broke his leg and ruined his life.

We’re both trying to think of another solution, but what can we do? It’s not even that people don’t believe us about what’s going on. I’d eat my pride and just call Ren if that was the problem. He’d believe me, but then he’d just call Principal Kobayakawa and, best-case scenario, he’d be ignored. Or Kobayakawa would just tell Kamoshida, and Kamoshida would probably kill me and Ryuji, hurt the volleyball team some more, and then. . .

Hacker-san, he is really gross.

I got to talk to Ann today. More like, I eavesdropped on a conversation she was having, she got mad, and then I chased her at the train station. Which I feel really shitty about, considering what she told me next.

You know all those rumors about how she’s Kamoshida’s girlfriend? Well, I was right about that. She’s totally grossed out by him and has been from the very beginning. And I do mean from the very beginning, since he got hired. The sad thing is, Shujin wasn’t even in trouble when he got hired; the track team was doing good sports-wise, and the school has plenty of nerds going to prestigious schools. Still, in like six months, this has-been dipshit turned the school into his. . . ugh. His castle.

I’m stalling here, because this is so gross. Ann said it started with him offering to “help her”, even though she’s not an athlete, much less a volleyball player. Like, “I’m gonna help you firm up for your photoshoots”. Ew. She showed me the texts. He’s old as hell, and she does photoshoots for Instagram and teen girl magazines. Have some self-respect, dude. Ann tried to let him down easy. She even said that her parents don’t want her dating yet, and then - get this - the guy comes out and goes “but I’m a teacher”.

I don’t know if this is shamelessness or if the dude genuinely doesn’t see how that makes it worse.

So it goes on like that, with him making increasingly creepy “offers” and Ann having to come up with increasingly elaborate excuses to turn him down. I asked her why she didn’t just tell him outright that she dislikes him, but she got teary and said she was scared. Honestly, I can’t blame her. Kamoshida is a giant, and he’s obviously not above bullying kids. She was handling it better than I could, as evidenced by my stunt yesterday. It was kinda manageable until that creep realized that Ann is best friends with Shiho Suzui.

Who is a starting player in - you guessed it - the volleyball team. I don’t know if I mentioned her before? She’s actually fairly nice; probably the only person in this awful school who didn’t believe the bullshit rumors about me. Well, there was also that hot girl with the red ponytail. But back to Ann.

All of a sudden, Kamoshida is like “Ann-chan, you better be nice to me. You wouldn’t want to jeopardize Shiho-chan’s position on the team”. That’s like almost word for word from the texts; this bastard isn’t subtle.

So Ann has to start accepting these “favors”. Some of them, at least. Like getting rides and stuff. She tried to keep it to a minimum, but it was enough for all these rumors about her being Kamoshida’s slut to get started. People were already jealous of her looks, and a lot of them already said she was a slut for doing the bikini shoots for the magazines. This has been going on for weeks now, and Kamoshida just keeps getting more and more extra. I’m shocked there wasn’t a legit dick pic, or worse, in all those texts.

Maybe that would have been easier to deal with. Ann was arguing with him over the phone because he wanted them to “spend the night together”. If she doesn’t agree, he’ll just take Suzui’s starting spot on the team.

I told her she should just tell Suzui. It’s a starting spot on a volleyball team. Who cares? That’s what gets me about this whole thing. Kamoshida is such a small, petty man. Figuratively small, I mean. Physically, he’s gigantic.

It makes me sick to my stomach to think of him getting his hands all over Ann. And not because I want to get _my_ hands all over Ann. She just seems so terrified of the whole idea of it. Why would he even want to, if she’s so scared? What if she starts crying while it’s happening?

I almost told Suzui what’s going on; went back to the school and everything. Who cares if Ann hates me for it? This shit has to stop. But I don’t have Suzui’s number, and all her social media accounts are private. I should never have let Ann just go; I don’t have her contact info either. So then I almost told Ryuji, but what the hell is he going to do? Except maybe try and go after Kamoshida himself, in real life or in the castle? He knows both Ann and Suzui from middle school. Then I almost called Ren, but what the fuck is _he_ going to do? He’s not even in Tokyo.

So finally, I just came home, and I’ve been rambling ever since. I’m getting the idea, from Arsene or something, I don’t know, that maybe I should just let Ann handle this. She said she would. I don’t see how, but it’s not like I have any ideas.

**4/15 - Friday**

Today, Suzui jumped off the roof at school and almost killed herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just Kamoshida being Kamoshida and suicide attempt at the very end.
> 
> My [twitter account!](https://twitter.com/LaTigra46636273)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is when the stupid romantic drama starts. Avert your eyes if you have good taste.
> 
> Also, every chapter will probably mention Kamoshida's everything, so warnings for that.

**4/16 - Saturday**

I couldn’t do much of an entry yesterday because of all the messed-up stuff that happened with Suzui. And I had to make a new google doc anyway. Guess I ramble a lot.

Let’s see. What else happened yesterday? Not much.

Well. A lot happened yesterday. We found Mishima after Ann left with Suzui for the hospital, and he confirmed that Kamoshida - that bastard - had called her into his office and. . . it doesn’t take much to guess what happened. Ann must have told him no last night, and he took it out on Suzui. Ryuji almost jumped him in the faculty office, which only would’ve given him an excuse to break more bones. I managed to hold Ryuji back. Somehow. Kamoshida said that he was the one who had my record uploaded to the internet before I even got to Shujin, but whatever. That just seems so petty and stupid, compared to what he's done to Ryuji and Suzui. And Ann. And Mishima. Everyone else at the freaking school, it seems.

This whole thing made the news. Ren contacted me again. Let me C&P:

* * *

 **> >>Bro**  
Heard one of the girls at your school tried to commit suicide  
You ok?

 **Me >>>**  
It’s fine  
I didn’t know her

 **> >>Bro**  
Ok  
Hang in there, Aki  
I got your back

 **Me >>>**  
I know  
Thanks

* * *

I know I should be more freaked out than I am. Kamoshida says he’s going to get us expelled, which he could definitely do in this ridiculous school. Volleyball is somehow that important to these people. I’m not freaked out, though. I know what I have to do now. All of us do.

Including Ann. She followed us into the castle yesterday, and she has a Persona now too. She’s the Lovers arcana, which can only be a sign that we are meant to be together! I’m starting to get into the confidants thing. Morgana is the Magician arcana. That’s cool too, I guess.

How Ann got Carmen was creepy. Extremely creepy. She got caught by one of the demon knights, and Kamoshida ordered her to be tied up against a strange star-cross contraption, up on a stage adorned with red roses, littered with crap that looked like weird torture devices, her arms over her head. Kamoshida started taunting her with the bikini-clad, vapid cognition of her.

“You’ve always been such a stuck-up bitch,” Kamoshida told her, with an ugly sneer on his face. “It’s time someone put you in your place.”

“Talking back is, like. . . totally not cute,” the cognition said, then swayed and sucked her index finger.

“That’s right, my darling queen,” Kamoshida cooed at her. “You tell that impostor.”

Ryuji and I were trying to figure out a way to help her, but the chamber was teeming with demon knights. I was sure that if Kamoshida wasn’t so fixated on Ann, he would’ve sicced his army on us. Then what? Even if we could escape, the thought of leaving Ann in that castle made me want to throw up.

Thankfully, I heard Ann scream “SHUT UP!” at the top of her lungs.

“You’re a disgusting, pathetic pig!” she yelled, writhing against the chains. “And I hate myself for being so scared of such a disgusting _worm_.”

“S-shut your mouth,” Kamoshida tried to yell, but he was looking at Ann - the real one - like she was the one who had him in chains.

“No, now it’s time for you to listen,” Ann said.

“I think she’s gonna get a Persona,” Ryuji told me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“We better hope she does,” said Morgana.

One of the demon knights worked up the nerve to approach Ann, and blue flames engulfed the stage. Ryuji gasped, almost ran forward to help her, and then the flames cleared. Only Ann was left behind, breathing hard and glaring daggers at Kamoshida.

“I’ve had it with you. _Scumbag_.” She pulled on one of the chains, ripped her wrist out.

I winced, watching as blood dripped from her arm and evaporated before it hit the floor. Searing blue magic closed her wound.

“Guards!” yelled Kamoshida.

At least three rushed her. Flames erupted on the stage, but I wasn’t worried about it anymore. Ann emerged from them, pirouetting like an expert aerialist, and landed heel-first on a shadow’s head. She swung a wicked whip at Kamoshida’s cognition of her that made it disappear with a pitiful squeal into a cloud of black smoke.

“I’m _done_ being your plaything!” yelled Ann. Behind her, her Persona appeared - a beautiful woman smoking a cigar, a faceless man at her feet acting like a stepping stool and another one floating behind her in chains.

“Now’s our chance!” yelled Morgana.

Yeah, that was our chance. With Ann on the team, we had lightning, wind, and fire on our side. More than enough to cut our way through Kamoshida’s stupid demon knights.

So, a lot of stuff happened yesterday, obviously, but I was so out of it. I found out I can talk to the demon things and get them to give me items and money. Or join me. Inside my soul. Or so Morgana says. I’d rather not think about it like that, since we’re finding these things in Kamoshida’s head. I don’t want any part of that piece of shit _inside_ me. Though, they don’t feel bad or anything. The demons. Personas.

I feel them, just like I feel Arsene. Pixie and Jack-o’-lantern are cute, and they cover each other’s weaknesses, I think. I’ve decided against recruiting the horses or the devils with the horn crotches, because they creep me out. Not sure I want a devil with a crotch horn in my head. The horse is just creepy. Ryuji has lightning powers anyway; no need to get demon horse shit in my soul. Or a demon sitting toilet - a literal toilet! - that we fought when Ann got her Persona, Carmen.

This might not be cool to admit considering. . . everything, but like. Ann is really hot in her Metaverse outfit. She’s got a skin-tight red catsuit with thigh-high heels and a boob window. I’m not sure what else to call it. There’s a diamond cut out around the top of her chest so you can see the tops of her boobs. She doesn’t seem to like it, but none of us know how to change these cognitive outfits. It sucks that she doesn’t like hers when Ryuji and I get to look like badasses, but just between you (my private diary) and myself? She looks really hot. I’m gonna be cool about it though, until I get used to it. I’m just gonna look around her, and then look at her, and then make sure I also look at Ryuji too. That way I technically won’t be staring at her like a creep.

Besides, Ann is actually a badass too. She got fire magic and healing with Carmen, and she’s right that Kamoshida is a pathetic loser outside school. I’ve been saying that from the beginning!

Anyway, the cat moved in with me. Sakura-san gave the okay; he’s a big softie deep down. He even wanted to name Morgana. I should’ve guessed, what with him saving all that curry and coffee for me.

As for today, it was mostly uneventful. Ann, Ryuji, and I decided with Morgana to make the school rooftop our Phantom Thieves hideout (I'm gonna call it the PT hideout, or just hideout, from now on, because I don't wanna constantly type it out). Morgana says we need to prepare for our infiltration, since we're bound to get tired and injured. First step was to visit the local shady doctor near Leblanc, because Morgana heard a rumor she sells illicit scripts. Color me impressed that Morgana's done recon in like twenty-four hours.

My parents would have a fit if they knew I was consorting with shady doctors, but what choice do I have? The lady was willing to give me pills despite my making up some bullshit about having a "chronic disease". She didn't even ask what this alleged chronic disease is, and why would she, when she straight-up told me she knew I was lying?

When I was coming out of the exam room, this dude in a suit came in, and I overheard him talking to the doctor about some mistake she made with drugs she's developing. It sounded sketchy as hell. I wanna be on the doctor's side, but considering how she just shrugged and sold a teenager drugs, I must question her judgment.

I thought about googling her: Doctor Tae Takemi. But since I'm going to have to rely on her drugs for the mission, I figured I shouldn't give myself any more reasons to chicken out. We need to do this. Kamoshida is a vicious rapist, and no one else will stand up to him.

Anyway, first problem solved.

Ryuji says he knows a guy, so tomorrow, we're getting very realistic toy guns and other weapons. Ann can't come with us, because she's going to see Suzui at the hospital.

When I was looking around my attic, trying to decide how I should clean up so I could get enough space to get into my daily calisthenics, my ex contacted me. I guess I can just C&P this conversation too. You're not gonna believe this shit.

* * *

 **> >>Unknown**  
Hi Aki

 **Me >>>**  
Who is this?

 **> >>Unknown**  
Yumi  
You deleted my number😕?

 **Me >>>**  
You broke up with me  
Blocked me on social media  
Said you never wanted to see me again

 **> >>Unknown**  
You know what happened tho😭

 **Me >>>**  
Yeah I just told you

 **> >>Unknown**  
😔

 **Me >>>**  
What do you want

 **> >>Unknown**  
Just to see how your doing  
No need to be a dick about it

 **Me >>>**  
It's *you're* not *your* and I'm fine

* * *

Hacker-san, I know only obnoxious nerds correct grammar while texting, but she was terrible to me. I blocked her number after that, ‘cause I didn't want to say anything else even stupider.

We were together for months and even went all the way together. Only a few times, because she was paranoid about getting pregnant, though I told her I was very careful with the condoms - which were not exactly easy to get in our small-ass town. I stole them from my parent's room. No, I do not know why my parents need condoms, and I don't want to think about it.

I think Dad figured out what I did, because he made a weird comment during dinner about the "importance of safety and hygiene" while looking straight at me, and I almost died. That's what I did for this girl. Well, mostly I did it because I wanted to get laid, but lots of guys would've just whined about it and promised to pull out.

And then she only let me a few times, even though it was her idea in the first place. I should've known that she was just messing with me, then and there. If it was only gonna be a few times, then probably pulling out and googling about her cycle would have worked. Then, I joked we could just do it in the back. Which she went for! I, uh, got lots of practice with that, so I like to think I'm good at it. It felt good.

Not good enough, apparently.

She said she loved me, Hacker-san. I guess this makes me the girl, or whatever, but I honestly almost cried when she told me she never wanted to see me again. And then made a dramatic post on her Instagram about how she couldn't believe what I'd done, how she wanted to ignore her "instincts" about me because she thought she loved me. "Thought" she loved me! What the hell instincts?

What the hell didn't she believe me? She didn't even give me a chance to explain myself. And to think I was loyal to her the entire time we were together, even though I got hit on by plenty of girls. And some of them were prettier than her too. I only went out with her in the first place because we ran into each other all the time in the library. I like to read, and I thought she did too, but clearly, I didn't know her that well.

I bet she's following my Instagram in secret, so I've decided to post. Normally, I just ignore social media because it's boring, but now I have a cat and my own attic in Tokyo. A cat that understands instructions, so I can get an excellent cat selfie in, like, a minute. Morgana is super-excited too. I explained we can be models, just like Ann. He made me send the pic to her, so I got inspired and just linked my IG on the PT group chat. Immediately, both Ann and Ryuji followed me and liked the pic.

Everyone back home is gonna have a meltdown. Especially Yumi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [twitter account!](https://twitter.com/LaTigra46636273)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's hitting me just how long this thing is now that I'm posting it.
> 
> Like I was just following the plot of first arc at work and adding bullet points to the part I thought would be boring to write so here were are.
> 
> Anyway, trigger warnings for Kamoshida.

**4/17 - Sunday**

Mom called me to ask if Ryuji is in the yakuza and if Ann is a slut. Thanks for riling me up, Yumi. I told mom that Ann is a professional model, and Ryuji just bleaches his hair, and I'm the one with a criminal record. If anything, she should be grateful Ryuji's okay with being seen with me. Then she started crying, so I had to hang up on her. If she cares that much about me, then why did she let Dad send me off to Tokyo?

Whatever. I met up with Ryuji at the station, and you know what? Screw them. I took a selfie and posted it. It's Sunday, and we're not doing anything wrong.

Well, maybe we are.

No. Buying model guns is not illegal. Sure, the guy at the Airsoft Shop looks shady, has a neck tattoo and everything, but again. He can do whatever. We got some cool models for our infiltration tomorrow, and then Ryuji and I went for Big Bang Burgers. I posted about that too. From now on, I'm gonna have an inane, obnoxious IG story going. Screw everyone who said I'd have to hide in the gutter forever.

In more important news, we can actually sell the stuff we get in the Metaverse from the demons, so I might not have to go crawling to Ren for money as often as I assumed I would need to. Although, I can't go around flaunting cash without being able to explain where I got it, so I might need to ask him anyway. Or get a part-time job, maybe? Not that I get that much money to begin with, but definitely enough not to go hungry.

After that, I came back to Leblanc and overheard a customer talking with Sakura-san about that train conductor who had a mental breakdown while working. That's interesting, considering what Morgana said about the unknown side effects of stealing someone's mental treasure. But what are the chances that the conductor was some vicious pervert with a mental treasure to begin with? And who would have stolen it? Certainly not us.

I can't think too much about that. We have to deal with Kamoshida before he cripples someone else. Or rapes another girl.

Ann texted me while I was cleaning up my attic. Sounds like Suzui's condition is stable. I'm relieved for her, and for Ann.

Morgana helped me make lockpicks for the infiltration after I cleaned up the desk. He says I have talent, and considering how full of it he is, that's high praise. Then I got bored, and against my better judgement, I unblocked Yumi's number. Hey, it's better than going to IG and checking who looked at my story or commented on my cat selfie.

I guess I should C&P my last convo with Yumi, just for completion's sake:

* * *

**> >>Yumi**  
There's no need to be condescending Aki  
I'm trying to reach out here

 **> >>Yumi**  
And now you're posting selfies with some stray cat  
Very mature  
Your posting😤

 **> >>Yumi**  
I only know about the selfie because Raiki stalks your IG  
You know she had a crush on you  
She has bad taste

 **> >>Yumi**  
So your already making friends, huh

 **> >>Yumi**  
That girl looks so trashy

 **> >>Yumi**  
Does she even know about your violent record

 **Me >>>**  
Yeah she does

 **> >>Yumi**  
Oh  
Unblock me?

 **Me >>>**  
I didn't block you  
I'm just busy  
You sure seem to be ready to chat all the time tho

 **> >>Yumi**  
She really knows about your record

 **Me >>>**  
Everyone at school does  
Someone ratted me out  
But I guess it's not as big a deal in Tokyo🤷🏻

 **> >>Yumi**  
Oh

* * *

I know, I know. I shouldn't talk to her after she dropped me like hot garbage, but I was bored. Good to know she's obviously still hung up on me.

What? Am I supposed to be a saint?

**4/18 - Monday**

Today was the day, Hacker-san. We took down Kamoshida. Well, just infiltrated his awful, shitty castle. Now, we have to send the calling card. I don't know, okay. Morgana says we need to change his cognition in the real world so his mental treasure will briefly materialize in his castle, and then, we can steal it. Okay. Sure.

Let me just start from the beginning. Yumi texted me a selfie in the morning, but I'm pretending to be too busy to respond right away, so I just left her on read.

Nevermind pretending. I'm actually busy for real. I ran into Kamoshida in front of Shujin, and he tried to intimidate me, but I saw that bastard's pathetic, twisted desires, _and_ I owned him at his own rally. I just looked right past him. And boy, did I get under his skin. Ms. Kawakami asked to talk to me after homeroom just because he "warned" her about me. I have literally not done anything except show off at a rally since I got here. And I only did _that_ because Kamoshida tried to mess with me.

We ran into Yoshizawa, the hot redheaded girl from when I first got here, in the hallway. Geez, I totally forgot about her with all the craziness going on. She didn't forget me, though. She said hi to me, called me senpai and everything, and both Kamoshida and Ms. Kawakami are like "how dare you speak to her".

Hacker-san, literally, she talked to me. They were there. They witnessed the interaction. She talked to me first. What was I supposed to do? Spit on her? Whatever. I hate these people.

Class was boring and uneventful, then we held a PT meeting in the rooftop hideout, and we were off to the castle. When we got there, I got access to a place called The Velvet Room that it seems only I can see, but first thing’s first.

Ann's costume has a red leather tail attached to the zipper in the back. Somehow, I didn't notice it or forgot about it. I guess I was mesmerized by the boobs before. She was tripping up a bit picking her code name, and I almost suggested Sexy Cat, but I've sensed she's not entirely comfortable with the risque get-up. Feminism. So I suggested Catwoman, like the comic book character. Which is American, like her. Unless she's from Finland. With all the stuff going on, I haven't gotten a chance to actually talk to her about herself. Instead, I'm being snippy with Yumi over chat.

Either way, Ann didn't like Catwoman. She picked "Panther", because it sounds more ferocious. I think it sounds sexier, but I decided that I like her for her ferocious personality. Don't worry, I didn't say that out loud. God, if I ever get her to go out with me, I’m gonna have to be extra careful not to say anything stupid. At least not until she likes me, then she’ll think my dumb jokes are cute.

Okay, so the Velvet Room. Igor told me about making bonds to open my reality and unlock my powers, and honestly? It just freaked me out. The Velvet Room freaks me out. I'm dressed in striped scrubs in there, like a chained bandit. There's an actual black cement ball chained to my ankle and a toilet on the side. I’ve looked at my ankle out in the real world at least ten times just to make sure I haven’t gotten a rash.

So then Igor says I have to execute my Personas, which are personalities inside me, which I can make into new personalities? That's what the confidant arcanas are for. I should have googled all this shit instead of wasting time texting Yumi.

I was curious, though, and I didn't want to argue with Igor and the creepy twins. So I executed Jack-o'-lantern and Pixie to make the devil with the horned crotch! His name is Incubus, gross. Hacker-san, they brought out guillotines. Poor Pixie and Jack-o'-lantern. They were in my head for days, just chilling with Arsene, and I just smoked them for the creepy devil thing. How is that okay? Although, Incubus is minding his business right now, and Arsene is amused. I told you Arsene thinks I'm a baby.

Then my confidant level with Igor increased, somehow, even though I just wanted out of that room. Igor gave me an ability called Third Eye, which I admit is cool. But I don't want him in my head. I was getting along just fine in the castle without it.

Ryuji, Ann, and even Morgana thought I just spaced out. They can't see The Velvet Room at all. I wanted to tell them, but how? What if Igor and the twins arrest them, or something? The Velvet Room sucks ass. Better to let them think I just space out a lot. I do space out a lot anyway.

Kamoshida’s castle was a trip. I’m really proud of us for managing to plan out an infiltration route in a single trip; Morgana made it sound like it would be a new job, essentially. It’s thanks to my leadership skills, Hacker-san. I figured out pretty quickly which demons are weak against what, and between the four of us, we got all the elemental stuff figured out. Morgana - wind, Ryuji - lightning, Ann - fire, and me - everything, I guess. Arsene knows Eiha, which looks like dark magic to me. Doesn’t sound very heroic, but it worked out. The Third Eye turned out to be indispensable. The team didn’t ask questions about how I knew where to find every single thing; they just think I’m that perceptive.

I wish I could draw, because some of this stuff is really hard to describe. Castle highlights:

  * There was a huge chamber that looked kinda like a church. Years of gymnastics paid off, because I grapple-hooked to a chandelier to investigate everything, and wow. It was just like being in a movie.
  * Good thing Ryuji and Ann also got to do some medieval parkour stuff, though they were wobblier than me. Their Personas must be helping them, just like Arsene helps me. If I tried some of the stuff I did in the castle out in real life, I’d totally break my neck.
  * Morgana is a cat, so he can naturally parkour everywhere.
  * Oh, I forgot to mention Morgana gave us grappling hooks. They are awesome.
  * We got to climb out through windows and scale the castle walls. The moon was just insane, so big and bright that it looked like we could reach out for it. Like two-thirds of the sky was the moon.
  * You could see the city lights out in the distance, but closer to the castle, there was the outline of something that looked like a village. I almost wanted to go and check it out, but we had a mission.
  * Gross banquet and meat room, with nothing that looked even remotely appetizing. Arsene warned me off the food, and the other Personas must have done the same to my team, ‘cause no one even suggested touching that shit.
  * Library with books about how the volleyball players are slaves and the girls are like toys. A whole book dedicated to Ann. Ew.
  * Kamoshida had a whole serial killer altar dedicated to Ann. I’m sorry she had to see that, what the hell? He doesn’t even see her as anything special, just a pair of tits, if his cognition of her is anything to go by. Doesn’t he know that there are free tits all over the internet?
  * We had to fight a big angel-looking thing when we went back to the chapel. It knew light magic stuff and it’s a figment of Kamoshida’s head, so the light/dark thing probably doesn’t mean anything. Arsene can’t be worse than anything Kamoshida imagined.
  * There are things called Will Seeds, and we stole them. They were creepy, but nothing compares to the serial killer altar.
  * The tower was terrible, falling apart like Minecraft after you spend too much time just walking straight in one direction and the server strains to render an environment.
  * Down in the castle dungeons, we had to fight a monster that looked like a giant, poison-green head of a dick. One of its attacks looked like it was shooting toxic cum at us. It was fixated on Ann.
  * I know that’s gross, Hacker-san, but imagine how we felt. Imagine how _Ann_ felt.
  * I’m not letting that thing in my soul, ever. Gross.
  * Like I’m a sixteen-year-old teenager, and I’m a dude. I spend roughly thirty percent of my life, and probably ninety-nine percent of my free time, obsessing about girls and sex - or at least I did before my life went to hell - and even I think this is too much. Does Kamoshida not have issues with literally anything else?
  * There were random statues of asses, breasts, and thighs everywhere. Without heads.
  * I’m never masturbating again.
  * That’s a lie; I’ll probably masturbate tomorrow haha.
  * But seriously, you might as well jerk off to pictures of slabs of meat in a refrigerator.



We did it, though. We made it through that throne room. I feel like shit about Ann having to see all that gross stuff, but I don’t know what to say to her. I thought about contacting her, but we don’t know each other that well. If I was her, I’d be swearing off men right now forever. Maybe I shouldn’t hit on her anytime soon. She sounded okay on the PT group chat, at least. Here, let me show you:

* * *

**> >>Ann**  
We did great today, guys  
Go team!🎊🎊🎊

 **> >>Ryuji**  
Yeah  
Nailed it!!  
Fuck Kamoshida🤬

 **Me >>>**  
Should we do the calling card right away?

 **> >>Ann**  
ASAP  
That creep is probably harassing the other girls in the volleyball team  
You saw all those gross “statues” in the castle🤢🤮

 **> >>Ryuji**  
Yeah  
Any doubts I had about what might happen to him are out the window

 **Me >>>**  
Ok let’s rest up  
We’ll decide tomorrow for sure

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [twitter account!](https://twitter.com/LaTigra46636273)
> 
> Oh, I got P5: Strikers and I'm too dead from work to play.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always felt bad in the first arc of the game, where I usually mess around in the castle, having poor Ann return to school without Shiho and with Kamoshida still skulking about the school being a mega creep at her. 
> 
> Also MORE WARNINGS AT THE END NOTES

**4/19 - Tuesday**

Train ride to school was uneventful. I ran into Yoshizawa, and she still talked to me, despite all the teachers telling her I'm a dangerous drug dealer. She's on the school gymnastics team, and she says she would train with me! Though it would be hard, since Kamoshida is like the king coach of everything at Shujin and he would throw a fit if I go to the gym. Kasumi - she said I can call her by her first name! - said we could always practice at public parks, so that's something to look forward to once I get this Kamoshida stuff under control.

All of us expected that Kamoshida would be weird at school, but he's still walking around being his douchebag self, smirking and making noise about how me and Ryuji are expelled. Only good thing is he stopped messaging Ann for now.

“Hey,” I asked her at homeroom, after I worked up the courage to tap her on the shoulder. She looked back, then leaned forward so she could hear my half-whisper. “Did Kamoshida bother you any more?”

“He offered me a ride from the station again, but I said no.”

“And he didn’t insist?”

Ann’s bright blue eyes narrowed. “He did, but I told him the only reason he’s obsessed with me is that grown women can tell how pathetic he is.”

It's true. Go, Ann. “Okay,” I said. “Be careful. We know that he’s not above. . . he’s not above anything.”

She nodded, but she looked more determined than scared. Since she seemed to be holding up, I decided against sending the calling card to Kamoshida right away. The infiltration went well and I feel fine, but I don't want to push the team unnecessarily. We could use a few days to sell off the loot from the castle and get more meds from the shady doctor. Three days. That's what I'm giving us. I told Ryuji to handle the calling card on the twenty-third.

But today, we went to celebrate our infiltration's success! Of course, people started talking shit when they saw us together. Mostly about Ann and how she's blowing me and Ryuji both on the roof. She's been seen with us like three times, tops. Just talking to us in public. Like half of those times, she was obviously arguing with us. I don't get why those girls are so nasty about Ann hanging out with us. I mean, guys are awful too, but you’d think the other girls would know better what it’s like for Ann. They're all so bitterly jealous of her that they can’t stand to be around her. Ryuji and I actually treat her well, so of course she wants to hang out with us.

Enough of those jealous losers. We went to get Big Bang Burgers together, and Ann took on the challenge! She didn't win, but most girls are always panicking about their waistlines. Hell, I panic about my waistline. Ann is blessed with the fastest metabolism I've ever seen on a non-athlete. She had plans to visit Suzui at the hospital, so she left me and Ryuji. But she took a selfie with us beforehand and tagged me on IG. Eat me, Yumi.

Ryuji had to go too, because his mom needed help with something, so I had plenty of time to explore Yongen this afternoon. Morgana tried tuna while I did some laundry and visited the batting cages. Every little thing in this town costs money. I gotta be careful with my share of the loot.

Oh, and Ren called today too.

“What?” was the first thing I said when I picked up the phone.

“There’s no need to be rude, Aki,” he said, and I instantly felt crappy. “I’m only calling to see how you’re doing.”

“I’m okay,” I said. “Sakura-san seemed grouchy, but he’s been feeding me, and he gave me extra blankets and stuff.”

“Good,” said Ren. “What about laundry and bathing?”

“There’s a bathhouse and a laundromat really close to the coffee shop.”

“Good,” repeated Ren. “Do you need more money?”

“No, that’s okay,” I said. Then I remembered that I wouldn’t be able to explain where I got more money at all. “I mean, I’ve been really careful with the money you already sent me, and Ann paid me today because- to say thanks because I helped her with a school thing. She’s the girl from Instagram - the foreign one.”

“Excellent,” said Ren. “Mom was worried about your- She’s calling it your ‘Tokyo situation’.”

“Well, I don’t know what she’s whining about,” I snapped. “She’s the one who said I had to come here.”

“That’s not fair, Aki,” said Ren. “Mom was concerned about how you would be treated in Inaba. Both our parents were. You’re only in Tokyo because it was very difficult to find a high school that would accept you, not because our parents wanted you out of the house.”

“They were talking about sending me to America!” I hissed.

“To Hawaii, which is in the Pacific and relatively close to home,” corrected Ren. “But yes, you’re right. You could be out of the country altogether, so maybe it would be better if you recognized that your situation isn’t as bad as it could be.”

“I know,” I mumbled.

“Aki.” I heard him take a short breath. “I know that what happened was extremely unfair and it wasn’t your fault, but it wasn’t our parents’ fault, either. Please, try to be a little patient, especially with Mom. You know how anxious she can get.”

“Okay,” I said. “I guess I’ll call her later.”

“I’m sure she would appreciate that,” said Ren. “Now, tell me about your new friends-”

“Oh, _that’s_ why you’re calling, then!” I knew it. “Mom just sent you to snoop on me.”

“Akira, it’s hardly snooping when I’m asking you directly,” said Ren.

That’s literally what snooping is. “Mom said they were- She tried to tell me I shouldn’t hang out with them basically because they’re blondes.” He didn’t need to act like I was the crazy one.

“Okay, but I wouldn’t tell you that, so why are you so upset?” asked Ren.

I couldn’t tell him the truth, could I? “Someone at school found my record and uploaded a copy to the internet,” I said. “Ann and Ryuji are the only ones willing to hang out with me, and Mom told me that I should worry about my _image_. Like I have a freaking image anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” said Ren. “Do you know who uploaded your record?”

“No, but it doesn’t matter,” I said. “At least I don’t have to worry about everyone finding out anymore. My point is! Ann and Ryuji are nice; they haven’t even done anything, and everyone judges them over stupid things.”

“Okay, Aki,” said Ren. “I’m happy you found friends so soon, despite the issue with your record. I’ll tell Mom that I think she shouldn’t make assumptions about your new friends. So tell me about them.”

Ren could be like a dog with a bone. I sighed and told him the non-supernatural details. Ann was a model, and everyone at school called her a slut over it, but she was actually very sweet if you got to know her even a little bit. Ryuji was at Shujin on an athletic scholarship, but he’d been injured and his team disbanded (I couldn’t really go into detail there, since I didn’t want to mention Kamoshida), and he lived alone with his mom. They didn’t have a lot of money, so people at Shujin didn’t treat Ryuji well.

“It sounds like they’re both brave,” said Ren.

“They are!” I wish I could have told him how cool they were in the Metaverse.

“I’ll tell Mom that it sounds like you’re doing well, but now I need to get back to work,” said Ren. “Take care of yourself and call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay.”

I was pissed, but I heard that voice, and Ren was now “The Alchemist” arcana, so I guess my brother was in my heart. Ugh, that sounded so lame. He would never let me live it down, but there he was, listed as “Ren Amamiya, The Alchemist”. We have different family names because his bio dad was Mom’s first husband, who died in a car accident when he was super little. Ren doesn’t remember him, so his real dad is basically Dad. We even look alike, since we both take after Mom. Lucky us, I guess.

Anyway, better to have Ren in my head than freaking _Igor_. No complaints on that front.

I finished all my laundry and got back to Leblanc’s before dark. More good news: Sakura-san says I’m allowed to use the kitchen, but if I mess anything up, he’s kicking me out on the streets. That’s fine, I can cook the basics very well. I’m gonna need to watch my nutrition and fitness if I wanna keep up as the leader of the PT! Going full competition mode: eggs, ground beef, a ton of green vegetables, a gallon of water, and one serving of rice a day. Milkshake every two weeks. It’ll be cheap too.

I was feeling overall good, and then I got back to texting Yumi. Mistake. I’m judging myself for not being able to just let this go.

* * *

 **> >>Yumi**  
I guess Tokyo turned you rude😑

 **Me >>>**  
Sorry  
I was busy today  
Nice pic

 **> >>Yumi**  
Not too busy for Big Bang Burger with your new friends🙄

 **Me >>>**  
Well you know me  
Always trying to make my friends happy  
Do you need something?

 **> >>Yumi**  
Nothing  
Hayato-kun asked me out today

 **Me >>>**  
Ok?

 **> >>Yumi**  
I'm relieved, though I turned him down  
I thought no one would come near me after what happened with you

 **Me >>>**  
That must be super hard  
Sorry☹️

 **> >>Yumi**  
No need to be sarcastic, Akira  
You're not as clever as you think you are  
You could've thought about me before you committed assault

 **Me >>>**  
I'm sorry my world didn't revolve around you even when you were fucking me🙃

 **> >>Yumi**  
You're the worst  
Your new girlfriend is probably cheating on you with that thug  
He had his hands all over her in that last pic  
And he's hotter than you  
I'm blocking you

* * *

Then I was going to say something nasty back to her, but she did block me. She'll see it when she unblocks me, I guess. Which she will. It's not the first fight we’ve had.

I'm not stupid, Hacker-san. I know I should block her for real, but she said she loved me. Then she told me to go away, and now she's all over my phone trying to make me feel guilty because I'm not crying with gratitude because she wants to give me the time of day again. The nerve of her! I'm almost impressed.

She's wrong about Ryuji too. Not about him being hotter than me; that one's a maybe. But he _did not_ have his hands "all over Ann". I took the selfie, and he was standing between us, one hand on my shoulder and the other around Ann's waist. But like, in a platonic way. Morgana was taking a peek from my backpack. It's a cute picture. I can't believe _I'm_ saying this, but why's everyone’s head in the gutter?

Now, I'm imagining what Ann and Ryuji would look like if they actually did have their hands all over each other like that. Naked.

I, uh, have something to do. See you around, Hacker-san.

**4/20 - Wednesday**

I got a seat on the bus this morning, so I had plenty of time to do some quick, totally non-stalker-like investigation of Ann’s instagram. She knows me and follows me back, and also, she is a model, so me looking at her IG is helping her professionally. That makes it okay. It’s pretty good. I probably would have jerked off to it if Kamoshida’s castle hadn’t scarred me deeply about male sexuality in general. It’s not even that Ann’s IG is pornographic or anything; I’m just gross, I guess.

That’s not why I went to check her IG, though. Certainly not on the train to school. I wanted to take the plunge and check the comments. The only place I might find something more psychotic than Kamoshida’s castle. Yumi’s jealous fit made me realize that Kamoshida might see that pic of her with me and Ryuiji and have an entitled meltdown. I assumed he’s stalking her IG with a burner account, and the trip through his castle might help me recognize him.

A good portion of the comments were in English, and while I’m decent enough at formal English (does English have a formal form?), it would take me way too long to make sense of internet English internet slang. Not that the Japanese comments weren’t a treasure trove of psychotic nonsense. Like ten percent of the comments, tops, were halfway normal compliments. The rest were dudes being absolutely disgusting (no brain-to-keyboard filter whatsoever) or girls calling Ann a trashy slut. I found several separate IG accounts entirely dedicated to shitting on her.

I thought finding Kamoshida would take a few minutes, but the number of internet psychos is too high. I just don’t have time to sift through this. How does Ann put up with it? She must not read the comments.

“Hey,” I said to her at homeroom today. “Your Instagram is- uh. It’s really nice.”

“Thanks!”

“But the comments,” I started. Then, I didn’t know what to say.

“Oh.” She shrugged. “The internet’s just like that. I don’t let it get to me.”

“Hm.” She seemed kind of happy, so I didn’t know how to bring up my suspicions about Kamoshida.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

I blushed. “Yeah, I’m good. How about you.”

“I went to see Shiho yesterday,” she said, with a sad smile. “It says online that unconscious people might be a little aware of what’s going on around them, so I read from her favorite manga and tried to describe the pictures. I think she twitched a little, so maybe she could hear me!”

“Yeah, maybe,” I agreed. There couldn’t be many reasons why someone in a coma would twitch, could there?

I couldn’t bring myself to ruin Ann’s good mood with Kamoshida talk, but I did text Ryuji about it.

* * *

 **Me >>>**  
I don’t think we should leave Ann alone in school until we’ve dealt with Kamoshida

 **> >>Ryuji**  
Did something happen?

 **Me >>>**  
Not with him  
Yesterday’s selfie she took with us  
My ex got mad about it  
Sent me psycho jealous messages

 **> >>Ryuji**  
What  
Wasn’t Ann standing next to me?  
Wait, Kamoshida would lose his shit about that  
Psycho

 **Me >>>**  
Basically

 **> >>Ryuji**  
Damn  
Should we just send the calling card today?

 **Me >>>**  
We’d have to explain the change of plans  
Let’s just plan to stay with her constantly  
She knows you better  
Just offer to do random things for her  
Girls like that

 **> >>Ryuji**  
Dude, not Ann  
Pay attention  
That’s what Kamoshida does

 **Me >>>**  
You’re right😖  
What do we do?

 **> >>Ryuji**  
Let’s just talk to her ASAP  
No need to complicate this shit even more

* * *

We had to wait until lunch because Ryuji, Ann, and I all have slightly different schedules and our classes tend to be on opposite ends of the school. It didn’t give us time to talk in the hallway or anything, and I wasn’t sure how to bring up the subject in our new group chat. What if Ann got upset or mad and started crying in the middle of class? Girls did that sometimes. She looked pretty stressed out in the courtyard, barely touching her lunch, so it wasn’t any easier to bring up the subject of Kamoshida in person.

At least Morgana went off to chase insects in the courtyard or something. He probably would’ve asked super awkward questions if we’d tried to have this conversation in front of him.

Thankfully, Ryuji could be pretty blunt. “So,” he said, with a quick glance towards me, “we were thinking - I mean, Akira and I - that it’s probably hard for you in school with that POS skulking around.”

Ann looked at him, her nose scrunched up, then she looked back down and shrugged.

“And!” I jumped in, before I lost my nerve. “If you want, we could help.”

“How?” asked Ann.

“We could, like, be with you in the hallways and stuff,” said Ryuji. “Creeps like this usually don’t go after girls in packs, y’know? I know we’re not girls, so people are gonna run their mouths, but like. . . they’re doing that already.”

“Sorry,” I said, though I wasn’t sure why. We were getting close to saying stuff none of us had said out loud, and it made me feel like someone dipped my toes in sewage. It must have been worse for her.

“No, you guys are right,” said Ann, poking her rice with her chopsticks. “Douchebags like this guy, they mostly wait until a girl is alone. And now that Shiho’s gone, no one else will walk with me. That’s why I run from class to class. It sucks.”

“Not anymore!” said Ryuji. “I mean if you want. We can set up a schedule and everything, so you’re never alone here.”

“But what if he does something to you guys?” asked Ann.

“I don’t think he will,” I said.

“Me neither,” said Ryuji. “We’re not on his stupid volleball team, and he doesn’t have a friend to hold over you anymore. If all three of us start calling him out on his bullshit, it’ll be harder to ignore us.”

“Plus, it’ll be fun,” I said, then cringed when they both shot me confused looks. “I mean. . .” What the hell _did_ I mean? “It’ll be funny when everyone gets upset, but then it’s not against the rules so they can’t do anything. And, like, it’ll be like a game not being late to class. For the two of us, I mean. You can’t get in trouble, so we have to get you to class first, and. . . I don’t know. Nevermind.”

“No, no!” said Ann, squaring her shoulder and forcing a smile. “You’re right. It’ll be like we’re spies in a video game!”

I relaxed a little, though obviously I’d said something dumb. There was a reason I tried to avoid talking, Hacker-san. We made a plan to stay glued to Ann at Shujin’s, and even wait for her outside the girl’s bathroom. People are gonna say awful things about Ann, but they already do. At least, this way, she’ll feel a little safer.

Kamoshida is probably gonna do gross things to other girls now, but me and Ryuji can’t do anything about that. Even if we had the time, other girls would probably call the cops if we started following them around. I don’t know why I decided we’d wait until the 23rd to send the calling card. Kamoshida’s fucking dangerous, not some boring homework I can afford to put off until the last minute.

I better get to my preparations. First stop: the shady doctor. No googling, just jumping right into it. No chickening out. Morgana cheered me on in my quest to secure potent drugs for the mission, which I took as a sign from heaven. Or something. I had heard the conversation between her and the guy in the suit about the illicit drugs she’s selling. I went in there to be intimidating, channel that dangerous delinquent air that has half of Shujin quaking in their boots every time I walk past them.

Uh, I don’t really think I intimidated Dr. Takemi. In fact, I briefly got a little bit shaky when she locked the door to her examination room. Very briefly. Then I was like, I know about the drugs and I’ll tell people. She just kinda laughed a little. Then Morgana tried to say something, but of course, she just heard a cat meowing from my backpack, so I was the dumb kid in a school uniform with his pet in his backpack. So she just stroked my bangs and told me to go home, at which point I deduced the need to lean into the pathetic kid air I had going.

I tried begging, said I needed the drugs to enhance my performance. She said I don’t look like an athlete, and I was about to get all offended, but then I remembered that I’m _trying_ to look like a nerd. So I said I needed the drugs for my entrance exams, and she was about to kick me out of her office, and finally! I said I would work for the drugs. That finally worked! Kind of.

She says I need to take part in “clinical trials” or she won’t sell me the drugs. I was just excited I’d gotten a deal, so I drank this experimental thing she gave me (tasted extremely sour), and then I passed out. When I woke up, she told me I was a dumbass for just taking unknown drugs (but she gave them to me?), but she took data from the experiment. It turns out I do have stamina, after all.

I know how this sounds, but I did a quick self-examination when I got home, and everything seems okay. Including the sensitive areas. Morgana was there the entire time, and she didn’t even take my clothes off. Look, I got the drugs. This is necessary for the mission, and to be honest? She’s hot. If she wanted to do something while I was awake, I would say yes. So that makes it okay.

Oh, and she’s the Death arcana. I know that sounds bad, but this whole thing has to do with western tarot cards (I googled it), and the Death arcana is not always bad. It can actually mean good things.

She’s a doctor, too. Doctors don’t hurt people. They go to school forever to make extra sure they don’t hurt people. This is fine.

In more important news, Ann texted the PT group chat just now, and we really need to do whatever it takes to take Kamoshida down.

* * *

 **> >>Ann**  
You guys don’t need to follow me everywhere in school if you don’t want to  
I’m used to dealing with Kamoshida

 **> >>Ryuji**  
No way, we’re sticking around  
After what he did to Suzui, there’s no telling what shit he’ll do next

 **Me >>>**  
I agree  
It’s not like any adults will help

 **> >>Ann**  
He’s just gonna say suggestive things to me  
I’ll just make extra sure not to be anywhere alone with him for a second

 **> >>Ryuji**  
Ok, but if me and Akira are around  
He probably won’t even approach  
And if he does, we’ll just be shitty to him

 **> >>Ann**  
I don’t wanna get you guys in trouble tho

 **> >>Ryuji**  
We’re already in deep shit anyway  
This is nothing

 **Me >>>**  
Also  
I hate to bring this up  
But after what we saw in the castle, it’s obvious that his fixation with you is central to his pathology

_(Hacker-san, I have no idea why I suddenly turned into a textbook there, but it’s not like I can take it back.)_

**> >>Ryuji**  
For real  
This fucker might actually choke you out in the girls’ bathroom if we’re not careful  
Which he won’t  
Because we won’t let it happen  
Sorry

 **> >>Ann**  
I know  
I’m tired of being scared all the time  
I wish I’d never gone into modeling

 **Me >>>**  
He’s doing this to girls who aren’t models  
It isn’t your fault, Ann  
He was going to do this, no matter what you did or didn’t do

 **> >>Ryuji**  
We’ll get him, Ann😡  
Tomorrow, if you want  
Just say the word

 **> >>Ann**  
No  
It’s ok  
We can stick to the plan  
It’s actually kind of fun to be with you guys at school🤗  
Everyone’s getting so mad, but they can’t do anything about it 🤣

 **Me >>>**  
The 23rd it is  
Hang in there  
He’s nothing

* * *

So you see, Hacker-san? If these clinical trials are what it takes to take Kamoshida down, then so be it. I volunteer.

Also, Yumi still has me blocked. Not that I care, or anything. Just updating you on that for completion’s sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the kid starts Takemi's clinical trials this chapter and while it keeps pretty close to canon and nothing is explicit, he still non-graphically wonders if Takemi didn't molest him while he was unconscious, then rationalizes to himself that he doesn't care if she did because she's hot, and he "probably would have let her do stuff to him if he was awake". So warning for a teenager's problematic rationalization of his own (potentially sexual) exploitation. 
> 
> I don't dislike Takemi or anything, but I think her plot only works in a harem joke subplot kind of way, but even without the tee-hee the game does about what she might be doing to an unconscious Joker, what she's doing makes no sense? Like what are you doing ma'am? What is your sample size? How are you monitoring them for side effects? How will you get your wonder drug approved, even if by some miracle, it works? This is bad science!
> 
> I know, I know. I'm thinking about it too much. It's not supposed to be a realistic portrayal of pharmaceutical development. 
> 
> My [twitter account!](https://twitter.com/LaTigra46636273)


	8. Chapter 8

**4/21 - Thursday**

Kamoshida looked like he swallowed a turd. With razor blades in it. Everyone noticed that Ann is always with either Ryuji or me. It’s not like we’re being subtle about it, but also, it’s been a day. Like twelve hours. Do these people not have lives?

I escorted Ann to her math class today and saw Kamoshida. We made eye contact, and he looked murderous. Ann noticed, and she held my hand, which. . . awesome, but also? Maybe we shouldn’t provoke him? Yes, I know. Me, suggesting restraint. I’d never thought I’d see the day. That being said, that piece of shit raped Ann’s friend. If she wants to needle him, fuck it. Fuck him. Ryuji and I are watching her anyway. Two more days, and we’re smoking him.

Although, I don’t remember why I picked the 23rd, if I’m being completely honest. Now that I made my deal with Dr. Takemi, there’s not much more prep to do. After school, we went back to Shibuya to see if there was anything new at the Airsoft Shop, but Neck Tattoo shooed us out.

A door to The Velvet Room appeared right by the corner of the Airsoft Shop, close to the end of a dark alley littered with trash. One of the twins was waiting by the front, brandishing her baton. If you’d told me a year ago that I’d ever be creeped out by a blonde grade schooler waving a police baton at me. . . well, I would’ve been too confused to laugh. Though I really didn't want to, I signaled to Ryuji that I needed a second and went to check out The Velvet Room.

They just wanted me to know they'd be at Shibuya in case I needed assistance with my "rehabilitation" outside the Metaverse. Convenient, I guess. My guns and my Personas right next to each other. Personae? Google docs accepts them both as correct. Whatever. It'd be perfect if I had my drugs right on that street too, but things rarely are.

Just out of curiosity, I decided to execute Arsene and Pixie to make a new Persona: Agathion. It's this cute-looking demon in a barrel with a Star of David on it. I learned about it way back in school when we studied world religions. I like cute Personas, and Arsene kind of feels like a dick, so I went, let's do it. Arsene came out before he got guillotined to say he would always be with me, like some smug stalker. I gave the twins the go ahead and got my Agathion.

Honestly, I felt worse about poor Pixie beforehand, but losing Arsene was absolutely the worst. It wasn't even painful, just. . . I don't have the words, Hacker-san. I couldn't even leave the Velvet Room, and not because Igor and the twins didn't let me. I'm not proud of this, but I straight up begged Igor to just give me Arsene back.

That's how I learned about the Persona compendium. The twins have this large book where they record my Personas so I can summon them later depending on which skills and arcanas I need. There's not enough room in my soul for all the different personalities. I only have the one personality, but the less I run my mouth in the Velvet Room, the better. Of course, I had to pay the twins money to get Arsene back. Who laughed at me.

Now, I'll have to ask Ren for money.

Ann and Ryuji thought I went to the trash cans to pee. Gross, but it's not like I had a better explanation.

We still had plenty of time to kill after school, so Ann suggested we see a movie. I said I had no money (just enough for the bathhouse left), but she insisted and paid for my ticket. Great, the girl I have a crush on paying for a movie ticket because I couldn't be without my blanket Persona. I can't even tell you what movie we watched, because Agathion turned out to be the talkiest Persona ever. He was so annoying I actually figured out I can release a Persona from the sea of my soul just to get rid of him.

What on Earth did I just call it?

Arsene is laughing at me some more. He's worse than Ren.

“You guys wanna go to Big Bang Burger again?” Ann asked, after we’d been walking around for a bit.

“Ugh, we have to watch our nutrition now that we’re warriors,” said Ryuji. “We can’t be eating junk food all the time.”

“But!” Ann pouted. “We’re gonna need lots of energy. Come on, tell him, Akira.”

“Ah, I really don’t have any money,” I said. Embarrassing, but true after the Agathion fiasco.

“That blows, man,” said Ryuji. “I could probably hook you up with a shit job.”

“You don’t have to,” I said. “I can ask my brother for money, just not so soon, because he’ll ask what I did with the money he already sent me.”

“And I could pay,” said Ann. “Just for today, I mean. To thank you guys for helping me at school.”

It would’ve been more embarrassing to turn her down, so we headed to Big Bang Burger after she took a selfie of us for her IG story. Ryuji and I shared a look. He was probably thinking of Kamoshida’s craziness too, but neither of us brought it up. Ann looked happy leading us around Shibuya, picking a booth at Big Bang Burger and scouring the menu for a “healthy” option. There was no need to remind her of the scumbag.

“Ugh, what are you guys even allowed to eat?” complained Ann, as Ryuji scanned the menu next to me.

“What are _you_ allowed to eat?” asked Ryuji. “You’re a model, aren’t you?”

“I have a fast metabolism,” said Ann.

“Me too!” said Morgana.

“Get back in the backpack,” I hissed, pushing down on the top of his feline head. “I don’t know if animals are allowed in here.”

“This must be because you’re American,” Ryuji was saying to Ann, reaching over to help me with the cat. “This is how your people eat- _Morgana_ , they will throw us out if they catch you.”

“I’ll sneak you some food,” I pleaded, as Morgana swiped at Ryuji.

Ann giggled.

“So, what part of the USA are you from?” I asked, trying to sound natural, as Morgana nipped at my hand and complained that he would totally be discreet and not allow other humans to see him.

“Oh, my mom is from New Orleans,” she said.

I relaxed. Probably I sounded normal. With an annoyed kitty growl, Morgana settled inside the bag beside me.

“She went to school for some boring business/computer stuff and visited Japan in an exchange program,” added Ann. “She was really into anime and fashion, but it was more like a hobby until she met my dad.”

“New Orleans is the place with the cowboys, right?” asked Ryuji.

“You're probably thinking of Texas,” said Ann. “New Orleans is the Mardi Gras city, the birthplace of jazz! My grandparents own real estate, not that I like to talk about them much.”

“Cause they’re foreign?” mumbled Ryuji.

“‘Cause they’re rich,” Ann half-whispered. “It’s a little embarrassing.”

“What about Finland?” I asked.

Ann went on to explain that, by now, her parents were successful fashion designers who traveled all over the world, so she’s been all over the place. Finland was where she stayed with them the longest - a whole year, when she started modeling in their shows there - before they decided that she was old enough to return to Japan for school with just a live-in babysitter. By now, the lady checked on Ann a couple of times a week. Her parents decided when she started high school that she could be mostly on her own, since the security at her condo was so good. That sounded kind of sad and lonely to me, but Ann did not seem upset about it at all.

She tried telling us about modeling, about how “the industry” was changing because of social media, and how her parents helped her with her Instagram presence, though that site was apparently on the way out. She talked to them about it multiple times a week, and they helped her manage sponsored content, issues of payment and branding, and comment moderation. Ryuji glanced at me at that but still didn’t bring up the possibility of Kamoshida lurking in her posts all creep-like. If Ann’s parents were handling the social media stuff, then it was probably safe, right?

Well, it wasn’t like we could do anything about the internet. If Ann wasn’t freaking out about it because her parents were watching, then I’m not freaking out about it either. We had such a great time today, Hacker-san, that I forgot about how messed-up everything is. Ryuji is so cool, and Ann is just so pretty. It's fine that she paid for my movie and Big Bang Burger, because American girls are super independent. According to the googling I did five seconds ago.

I gotta stop now, Hacker-san. Morgana is bugging me about infiltration tools, plus I want to see if I can create a makeshift pull-up bar out of a rafter. It’s an old building, which I was feeling dejected about, but now I realize I can use it to my advantage. Gotta keep in shape for the Metaverse. Arsene agrees. There's only so much he can do if I don't do my part.

**4/22 - Friday**

I may have to retract the statements I made about my parents ignoring me. What they’re doing now is actually worse.

* * *

**> >>Mom**  
Akira Kurusu, why are you out with these new “friends” daily?  
What about your schoolwork?

**Me >>>**  
It’s fine  
Not gonna get into trouble for it  
I’m doing the bare minimum

* * *

That was the wrong thing to say. She called me - actually voice called me - to have a fit about my grades and college. Like I’m going to freaking college with a record! My career options are narrow now. Either I make it as an artist of some type, or I crash in Ren’s basement forever. Then she started crying, again, like it’s her life that’s messed up. I tried to tell her I’m not upset about it anymore, but then she got mad and started demanding that I “take this seriously”, so I hung up on her.

So then _Dad_ called - _voice_ called me - to say I need to stop being disrespectful to my mother, and that he will not have a quitter for a son. I was gonna be all smug and say something like “well, you have a delinquent for a son”, but I chickened out. Instead, I promised I would try harder in school, and I had to send Mom an apology text. I’m gonna post selfies studying or something. My parents are delusional if they think I can just go to college with my record of attacking a Diet member. They’re well-off (Dad is a software engineer, and Mom is an accountant), but they’re not well-off enough to make this go away.

Whatever, they’ll see.

Since I had to appease them, I couldn’t get a seat on the train, and instead got squished next to two other Shujin students who whispered about me all the way to school. One of them whined that his grades are slipping because he’s stressed out about “the delinquent”. I didn’t say anything, but I looked at him and rolled my eyes. I don’t even know who that guy was. And Mom was worried that boys in Tokyo would goad me into dangerous behavior or something.

Ryuji and I are still escorting Ann everywhere, and she’s right. It is _hilarious_ how everyone is reacting. You’d think we’re having threesomes at every corner of the school, but everyone is too embarrassed to bring it up directly. Today, we made it into a game to rush from class to class so Ryuji and I wouldn’t be late. You can just see the nastier teachers trying to figure out what rule we’re breaking. Or if they can make it a rule that boys and girls can’t. . . what? Walk next to each other in the hallway?

After school, we walked Ann to the station in case Kamoshida was waiting behind some trash can. She went to visit Suzui at the hospital, then it was just the whole afternoon left for me and Ryuji to hang out.

He wanted to just go back to Shibuya to walk around - lots of stuff to do there even if we’re broke, but I told him that my parents were insisting that I have to study, so now I have to take selfies at my desk or something.

“That blows, man,” said Ryuji, sighing deeply. “I guess I could pretend to study with you. Come on, I know a place.”

We were de-facto banned from the library, but Ryuji knew a corner of Shujin’s courtyard that everyone avoided because it was too close to an old bathroom. Sure, it stank sometimes, but there was a sakura tree in full blossom for shade, and an old bench-desk where we could lay out our books. It was close to the street, but traffic was light, so it wouldn’t be too noisy. Even if it was, we weren’t planning to _actually_ study, so whatever.

“I don’t even know why they put this desk thing here,” Ryuji was saying, as he opened his algebra book to a random page.

Morgana jumped out of my backpack and sniffed the air. “It stinks!”

“You get used to it, kitty-cat,” said Ryuji.

“I am _not_ a cat!”

“I don’t smell anything,” I said, pulling out my own algebra book. In fact, it was such an overall nice place that I almost wanted to study for real. The blossoms even reminded me of Inaba during spring, one of the few times it seemed to be brimming with life. I pulled out my phone for the obligatory selfie, way more excited than I expected I’d be.

“I’m gonna check the perimeter,” said Morgana. “Don’t leave without me, okay?”

“‘Kay,” I said, still looking around.

We mostly doodled for a while, though I did explain some math to Ryuji when he complained that Twitter and Instagram got boring. The formulas freaked him out, but he could get them fine so long as I reframed everything around money. I think Ryuji would do better in school if he wasn’t convinced that he was dumb.

“Most classes are dumb,” I told him. “It’s not that much work to get average grades, or even above average.”

“What, you’re a genius on top of being a gymnast?”

“How do you know I’m a gymnast?” I asked, hoping he would compliment my badass skills in the castle.

“I checked your IG,” he said. “You don’t post anything, but your girlfriends have you tagged everywhere.”

“Hm.” I guess I was happy they hadn’t unpersoned me or something.

“Is that why you picked gymnastics?” asked Ryuji. “To hang out with girls?”

“I started when I was really young so I barely remember it,” I said, shrugging. “My brother - Ren - told me his first girlfriend was a gymnast, and he took me along to pick her up from practice, and I just thought they looked really cool. I don’t remember this happening, so I doubt I realized there was even a difference between men and women then.”

“And your dad was cool with you trying it?”

“He must have been.” I shrugged. “I don’t remember him making a thing out of it. My dad sticks to computers and old school video games. At first, only the little girls on the team were annoying because they kept trying to play with my hair.”

“That must have been terrible for you,” snorted Ryuji.

“I was like five, so yeah,” I said. “”Here, let me show you a shortcut with fractions.”

We studied for a bit, though we were supposed to be pretending. When Ryuji got bored, I told him the stuff Ren taught me about cognitive science to trick myself into remembering boring stuff. He thought I was being silly, but I swear that color-coding notes and making them “pretty” is a great way to remember stuff. Ryuji really liked the stuff about the brain being able to remember beginnings and ends, so it was cool to take frequent breaks to scroll through Twitter and IG.

I don’t think that’s what Ren meant. I imagined him rolling his eyes at it and giggled, then blushed when Ryuji looked at me weird. I hope he didn’t actually look at me weird, that I just imagined it. Ren says I imagine people are paying way more attention to me than they are.

“So why did you pick track?” I asked, to distract Ryuji.

“I don’t even remember at this point,” said Ryuji. “I guess I was just good at running from trouble, and the teachers in middle school were impressed I was so fast. Then, when it was time for high school, I got a scholarship for this fancy Academy and my mom was really proud. She could never have afforded the tuition for this place.”

“What does your mom do?”

“She works for a company that cleans buildings and stuff,” said Ryuji. Then he stared at me.

“Oh.” I felt really awkward all of a sudden, though it’s not like there’s anything _wrong_ with that. I’d just never met someone whose mom was like. . . a janitor, basically.

“So when you were little, you didn’t care about girls,” said Ryuji, after a beat. “But now you care, right? Those girls in the pictures were hot.”

“I guess,” I said. “I mean, yeah! They were, but they just dropped me like hot trash when the whole mess with the assault happened. Even my girlfriend. All of a sudden, everyone decided I was a pervert.”

Ryuji looked deflated. “Sorry, man. I know how much that sucks.”

“Some of the dudes on the soccer team used to get jealous,” I said, fiddling with a few fallen sakura blossoms, trying to change the subject. I didn't want to talk about depressing things. “They tried to make fun of me for being girly, but then I just told them I was surrounded by the hottest girls in school, who wouldn’t even acknowledge their existence.”

“Hah,” said Ryuji. “Bet they loved that.”

“I’m sure they enjoyed being the most masculine dudes for miles,” I said.

Then we both started snorting, and it was fine. Ryuji pulled out his phone and started scrolling through my IG to ask me about the girls, and it was probably the first time I talked about them without feeling awful since the assault thing. They weren’t bad girls, if I’m being completely honest. My feelings were hurt - are still hurt - but it must have been scary for them to imagine me in trouble with the police. With the way that rumors spread, who knows what they heard about me?

“So which one was your girlfriend?” asked Ryuji.

"She wasn't on the team." I was not ready to talk about her. “What are you gonna do next year, then? If you can’t come back to this school?”

“Dude.” Ryuji looked at his notebook. “Just say you don’t wanna talk about her; I get it.”

“I’m serious, though,” I said. “What are you gonna do?”

“I dunno,” said Ryuji. “I’m probably just gonna quit school and work with my mom full-time.”

“But you don’t have to! There are other schools - cheaper ones than Shujin.”

“Sure, but I’m a dumbass,” said Ryuji.

“No, you’re not!” Why did he think that? “Ren says-”

“-Forget it, man,” interrupted Ryuji. “We have bigger things to worry about now.”

“I. . . right.” The Metaverse. I’m trying not to think about that too much, because I’m afraid it’s gonna drive me crazy.

“We have to stop him,” said Ryuji. “We’re the only ones who can.”

“We will,” I said, unwilling to share my misgivings when that the douchebag was a day away from knocking Ann over the head and dragging her to his creepy dungeon to do unspeakable things to her.

Ryuji nodded, and then I had this strange feeling and my phone vibrated with a message that the Chariot arcana had leveled up. That was weird.

This whole thing made me realize that Ryuji was the first “guy” friend I’ve ever had. Not sure why I put that in quotations, haha. It looks like I’m saying Ryuji isn’t really a guy.

What I mean is that I never realized that I was always trying not to offend the girls in the gymnastics team. And I couldn’t let Ren know when I was freaked out about stuff, because I can’t have him thinking I’m a baby. With Ryuji, I can just complain about my parents and how everything sucks, and that’s really nice.

I came back to Leblanc’s early today, right after we texted Ann to verify that she got home safely. She sounded kinda dejected because Suzui didn’t so much as twitch on her hospital bed. Sad, but nothing we can do about it.

My plan was to just work out in my attic since I’m broke, but Sakura-san was waiting for me to ask how I’m doing. Apparently, he needs to report to the probation office, and he wanted to remind me not to do anything stupid. I started feeling crappy about having to be all “yes, sir; sorry, sir”, but then he said I could work in the cafe if I wanted! So he must not think I’m so bad, despite all the times he threatens to kick me out. If I can show him that I can be trusted not to bring a bomb to Shujin or piss in the sink or something, then that will make my life a lot easier. Also, he said he’s gonna teach me to brew a gourmet cup of coffee, which is, like, a skill.

The app says he’s the “Hierophant” arcana now. Google says that’s “a person, especially a priest in ancient Greece, who interprets sacred mysteries or esoteric principles”. Okay, app. It’s a cup of coffee, albeit a good one. Calm down.

Although, Morgana did say that coffee could be extra useful in the Metaverse, since it’s a drug. He could’ve told me that before I went and sold my body for illicit science experiments with a shady back-alley doctor. Thanks, Morgana.

I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have multiple drugs.

I finished my day with my workout, then rushed to the bathhouse and came back to take a selfie with books at my desk to send to Mom. You know, pretending I spent all night studying so I can be at the top of my class, so then I can get into Todai, a thing that would totally be possible for me.

Yumi unblocked me, by the way, to send the worst “apology” I’ve ever seen in my life. Look at this shit:

* * *

**> >>Yumi**  
I’m sorry you’re upset, Aki  
It must have been hard for you  
But imagine how I felt when everyone was asking me how I didn’t notice my boyfriend is a violent psycho  
I still get asked about it  
You don’t know how hard it is to be a girl  
I still have to deal with the fallout of your stunt  
You get to go to Tokyo and hang out with a gorgeous American model every day  
Have you tried googling me lately?  
It takes about two clicks to land on gossip about you  
Anyway  
I doubt you’re going to care much  
See, *you’re*  
Thanks for correcting my grammar

* * *

What the hell do I even say to that spiel, Hacker-san? She’s acting like it’s my fault people can’t stop talking shit about me. The lady obviously needed help. How was I supposed to know that the drunk was a Diet member who would ruin my life? Does no one understand that we cannot function as a society if we all just walk away when we see someone in obvious distress? I didn’t even intend to get into a fight with the asshole, just to talk to him, because I was sure he just needed someone to snap him out of his outburst. I thought he would freaking thank me for intervening before he hurt that woman.

Not that anyone let me explain that. Except Ren.

Yumi’s exaggerating, anyway. She’s at the top of the class, and it’s been like a month. Everyone will just forget about this, and she’ll get to go to whatever college she wants and then travel to America and get herself an American boyfriend if she’s so freaking jealous.

This is stupid. I’m going to sleep. We have to send the calling card tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I learned after this that Ann is supposed to be "a quarter American", but whatever. If I ever get far enough, I need Akechi and her to bond over jazz.
> 
> My [twitter account!](https://twitter.com/LaTigra46636273)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quest to turn Ryuji into an honor student.

**4/23 - Saturday**

I was trying to relax today on the way to school, so I read this book I found called “Pirate Legend”. It was about Captain Kidd! He was maybe a pirate for the British Empire during the very late 1600s, but the British crown disowned him after he was caught. I would tell Ryuji about it, but he was executed for his crimes, which might be a bad omen.

That being said, the book gave me the idea to google Arséne, and that’s from famous French fictional detective novels about a “gentleman thief”. Huh. Carmen is a common name in the west, but the algorithm led me to a famous opera about a beautiful woman who was stabbed to death by a scorned lover. I’m definitely not telling Ann about that.

I’m finding a lot of Western references in all the Metaverse business. I don’t even need to look up “Morgana” to know what it means. A magician who used to work for King Arthur and then betrayed him in the end. Maybe this whole thing is a FBI plot? Not sure why the FBI would want to mess around in Japan, though.

Anyway, Ann and Ryuji worked on the calling card last night while I exercised and wasted time reading Yumi’s dumb message. They know the bastard better, so Morgana thinks they’ll be able to get under his skin more than me. The plan was that Ryuji would come to school super early and just hang up copies of the calling card everywhere. He texted the PT group chat earlier that it went well, and I trust him. I don’t know why Morgana doesn’t.

I thought the calling card was pretty good, but Ann and Morgana think it sounds like a kid who looked up a bunch of stuff online. How else are you supposed to write a calling card, though? I’ll show you; I took a pic of it today. I didn’t even have to be discreet about it. Lots of kids were doing the same thing:

 _Sir Suguru Kamoshida, the utter bastard of lust. We know how shitty you are, and that you put your twisted desires on students that can't fight back. That's why we have decided to steal away those desires and make you confess your sins. This will be done tomorrow, so we hope you will be ready. From, the Phantom Thieves of Hearts_.

Nailed it. Kamoshida was so pissed, yelling at everyone like a lunatic. He knows we did it too, but he can’t prove it.

I was so excited about this thing I don’t even remember what I’m supposed to have learned in school today. One of the teachers hit me with the chalk, and everyone got a good laugh about cool and smooth delinquent Kurusu looking stupid. Glad to hear they think I’m usually cool and smooth, haha.

So, the treasure, then. It’s a giant, tacky-ass crown with fake-looking jewels. This douchebag is so low-class that his soul created a carnival crown to represent the most valuable aspects of his subconscious. If you thought the green cockhead spitting acidic cum at Ann is the worst thing his mind could produce. . . Well, when I write it out like that, it does sound like the worst thing his mind could produce. Ugh.

Morgana went. . . something about the treasure in a really creepy way. Like a cat high on catnip, except he’s capable of human speech and intelligence, so it was weird. And disruptive. I’m not gonna lie, I panicked a little. Like one time, one of my teammates showed up at a meet obviously inebriated, and I had to make up some nonsense about how she had food poisoning; then after, she got really teary-eyed and admitted that she stole her dad’s vintage sake because she was nervous. It was like that, but worse, because Kamoshida was gonna freaking kill us.

Thankfully, Morgana got it together, so we just had to deal with hauling that giant freaking crown out of there. Kamoshida obviously caught us, with a volleyball move that I’m sure he thought was _super_ cool.

Anyway, he started on about how it’s not really his fault, the other teachers and the parents knew what he was doing and they let him because he’s so special, and he never sexually harrassed anyone, and those sluts wanted it, and he deserves it anyway because he works so hard to be cool for them, and they’re always judging him, and fuck this whining. Sorry for cursing so much, Hacker-san, but I cannot tell you how little patience I have for Kamoshida. I can only hope I never sounded like this to Mom and Dad. Or worse - Ren.

Once it was evident that the crocodile tears weren’t going to work, Kamoshida started attacking us. It wasn’t as viscerally horrifying as the cockhead, but emotionally? Probably worse. Kamoshida's Shadow turned into a naked human-insect hybrid with a despairing look on his face, naked - of course - with a pouched belly and thin arms. Four of them, holding giant eating utensils. A golden cup covered his crotch - mercifully, since he was sitting down with his legs splayed open and we did not need to see that. The cup was full of disembodied, feminine-looking legs. He brought out cognitive versions of Mishima and Suzui to mess with us and started eating those female body parts to heal himself. That last part competes with the cockhead for grossness.

Morgana got the idea for one of us to go after his treasure while the other three distracted him. Good plan. I tried sending Ann first, but the creep just could not take his eyes off her. Dude, give it a rest. She’s hot, but you should be used to it by now. Even if you’re a piece of shit, it should not be distracting you when you’re busy anymore.

I had to send Morgana, and this dude is so lame that it actually worked. We just took the crown. Super anti-climactic in the end. We didn’t even need Dr. Takemi’s drugs, so I guess I did the clinical trial for no reason. If Ann hadn’t been there, I would’ve told this dipshit that he probably doesn’t know how to make a girl cum.

It wasn’t necessary. Ann smoked this asshole. He was like, “Wah, I wanna die, please”. I was ready to let Ann do whatever; no one in that castle but us, and it’s not like we would snitch.

But Ann decided that this scumbag gets to live and face his crimes. Nice.

Then Kamoshida disappeared into his real self or something, and the castle collapsed in on itself. Very exciting stuff; I wish you could have been there, Hacker-san. We reappeared in a corner of the school, and the app says that the destination was deleted. Kamoshida’s crown turned into an Olympic medal.

I know I’ve been dumping on volleyball, but it’s a sport like any other, and I do understand what an accomplishment an Olympic medal is. It’s just sad that this man reached the global peak of his thing, and he still couldn’t get over the fact that girls made him nervous. All this nonsense, when he could have just gotten a nose job and. . . I don’t know. Not allowed his past accomplishments to turn into chains.

That was good. I need to remember that so I can sound profound in a real conversation. Impress Ren. No, a date!

Would you believe me if I told you that, in real life, I keep my mouth shut like ninety-five percent of the time?

We walked Ann to the station again and then went our separate ways. I made it sound like it wasn’t a big deal, but it did take a lot out of us. Emotionally, or whatever. Ann texted me after I got home, and I’m really happy she feels better. Though let me show you why I avoid talking:

* * *

**> >>Ann**  
I wanted to thank you for helping me  
Even tho I was mean to you at first

 **Me >>>**  
I don't remember you being mean😅

 **> >>Ann**  
You were so intimidating I started to believe the rumors 🤣🤣🤣  
Mr dangerous delinquent

 **Me >>>**  
😅  
You ok?  
I could stay with you tonight

 **> >>Ann**  
Um

 **Me >>>**  
I mean on the couch!!!  
In case you don't want to be alone  
Cause Kamoshida might go crazy without his treasure  
Or I could ask Ryuji  
Since you know him better

 **> >>Ann**  
It's ok🤣  
I know what you mean  
I'll be fine  
There's really good security at my building  
The doorman would never let him in

 **Me >>>**  
Ok  
You were really brave

 **> >>Ann**  
Thank you  
For everything  
Good night

* * *

Can you believe I've known her for like a week and I asked to go to her house to spend the night? Smooth and cool, alright.

Oh, and I almost forgot. The Magician confidant thing randomly leveled up when we found the treasure because Morgana was so happy-smug about being right about enlisting us for the PT or something. Okay, app. Thanks.

**4/24 - Sunday**

Sunday morning; bored. Maybe I was thinking we’d take Kamoshida out on a Saturday so we wouldn’t have to go to school the next day. Good thinking, and I’m giving myself credit for thinking about it (probably), in retrospect. But now, it’s Sunday, and I’m bored. I suppose I could study. Midterms are coming up, and it sounds like my parents are expecting me to get good grades for some reason. Or I could text Ryuji so we can go hang out at a park or something. Still broke, sadly. I need to go around Shibuya and look for a part-time job. The previous plan to just live off the loot won’t work if the castles just disappear after we steal the treasure.

Okay, so here’s the plan: I’m gonna go check out Shibuya and see if I can sign up for some busy work to get some spending money, then I’ll see if Ryuji is free today or tonight. Exciting stuff, I know.

I’m back, Hacker-san!

Today was pretty great! I got a part-time job at the flower shop in the Shibuya underground mall that pays per shift, so I’m not broke anymore. Ms. Hanasaki, a lady who works there full-time, is super nice and taught me about different flower arrangements all morning. The best arrangement we made today: sweet peas and yellow roses for a woman who wanted to give her best friend a friendship bouquet for her birthday. Ms. Hanasaki says I have an eye for color. (I damn well should, with all the talking the gymnasts did about what color clothes look nice together). She even agreed to take a selfie with me, and I posted it to my IG story so my awful extended family can see that I’m still capable of getting gainful employment. I guarantee those boring losers are still following me via burner accounts. My descent into criminal activity is the most exciting thing to happen to this boring family in, like, fifteen generations. They should all be thanking me.

At about noon, I texted Ryuji about studying for the midterms. He said he wasn’t going to because he would fail anyway, but that’s dumb. Ryuji actually has a chance to go to college; maybe not Todai, but there are other options. For Ryuji, at least. I hate school too, but I told him what Ren says: it doesn’t matter if you hate it; statistically speaking, people who graduate from any kind of post-secondary school program have better life outcomes across the board. Getting halfway decent grades in school is really not that difficult.

Ryuji said I sound like a freaking nerd, but he said fine, I could come over later in the afternoon. He had to help his mom with chores.

That still gave me until like four in the afternoon, so I went to see Dr. Takemi.

I know, I know. I said the clinical trials were creepy, and I didn’t even use her medicine in the castle, and I have the coffee now. But I had, like, four hours before it was time to study, and Sunday is my rest day from working out. What was I supposed to do for all that time? Nothing bad happened in the last clinical trial, and Morgana would be with me the whole time. That makes it okay.

So I went to her clinic and told her I could do a clinical trial, but only if I would be good to study with my friend by three. I was being really smart about it, gave myself an extra hour in case something went wrong.

Dr. Takemi just kinda smirked at me and said she had adjusted the dosage for quick onset of action and quick elimination from the body. So I was like, okay, and then we got started. I’m convinced she made it taste awful just to mess with me. I didn’t pass out this time, though I did get a little woozy. She didn’t try to touch me or anything, so probably nothing happened last time either. I felt the effects wearing off pretty quickly, so I’m thinking this is gonna go great.

But then, while she’s babbling about my vitals, a freaking cop shows up! I sat up straight immediately, trying to look like everything was fine, but I thought my heart was gonna burst out of my freaking chest! Thankfully, Dr. Takemi seemed used to this, because she was all “this is an anxious patient; I’m helping him with his entrance exams”, and I was like “absolutely, my entrance exams”. I hope I didn’t slur.

Then the cop did what adults usually do, if I’m lucky: he ignored me. And just had a serious conversation with Dr. Takemi like I wasn’t even there, haha. It sounded like Dr. Takemi is committing billing fraud. Or someone hates her and reported her for billing fraud. Just because I find her a little creepy doesn’t mean that she’s a thief. Though, honestly? Thieving is probably better than conducting illicit experiments of humans. Which is what she’s doing with me. But I’m volunteering, so that makes it okay.

Dr. Takemi doesn’t really dress like any kind of doctor. I’ve hung out with the gymnastics team and read enough books when I was bored, so I know that clothes are a sensitive area for girls and they get judged no matter what they wear. That being said, if I visit a clinic and the doctor looks like a bartender from a goth club (or what I imagine those look like), I’m gonna be a little confused. I think that’s fair.

I got sidetracked again. What was I talking about?

Oh, right, the clinical trial. The effects of whatever Dr. Takemi gave me wore off, and she said I did really well, and then the Death confidant thing got a level up. According to the App. Success? She’s willing to sell me more hardcore pharmaceuticals now, so I’m calling it a win. Morgana thinks this is awesome. Would the magic talking cat I found in a rapist teacher’s cognitive castle of distortion steer me wrong? I think not.

Well, I have to go tell Sakura-san that I want to visit Ryuji. This should go well.

It did not go well.

"You expect me to believe you care about your grades that much?" Sakura-san said. "I wasn't born yesterday."

"My parents want me to do well," I said.

"Sure," said Sakura-san, "and you can't study plenty up in the attic."

"But I could do better if I had company," I insisted.

"Also probably true," said Sakura-san, "but I don't want any trouble with parents from that school. The last thing I need is some hysterical housewife calling me in the middle of the night because you're corrupting her precious child."

That was so ridiculous, Hacker-san. I couldn't corrupt a fly, not that I had a good argument.

"Please, Sakura-san." Not proud to say, I begged. "I promised Ryuji I would help him. I have better grades than him!"

"Okay," snorted Sakura-san. "Give me the mother's contact info so I can clear this with her."

"Uh."

"It shouldn't be a problem," said Sakura-san. "Unless you're bullshitting me."

I landed myself in a corner right there. If I didn't let Sakura-san contact Ryuji's mom, he would think I was lying and then trust me even less than he does now. But I didn't have Ryuji's mom's contact info. I had no choice but to text Ryuji.

* * *

**Me >>>**

Hey 

My guardian is asking for your mom’s contact info  
To make sure I’m not lying about studying tonight  
Sorry  
It’s ok if you don’t wanna tell her about my situation  
We can study some other time

 **> >>Ryuji**  
No hold up  
Ma’s already making us dinner  
Here’s her info

 **Me >>>**  
Does she know about my record  
Sakura-san is not the most soft-spoken guy😬

 **> >>Ryuji**  
Neither is my mom🤣  
It’s fine  
I explained about the record to her  
She says you can come  
She’s ready to build you a fucking shrine since you want to study🙄

* * *

It worked out. Sakura-san and Mrs. Sakamoto seem to have liked each other, and now, Sakura-san is impressed by my studiousness or something. Let’s hope he tells my parents, assuming they’re talking to him at all.

Ryuji and Mrs. Sakamoto live in a one-bedroom apartment on the fourth floor of a tall high-rise complex close-ish to Shibuya. Mrs. Sakamoto turned the little living room into a bedroom to give Ryuji some privacy, which was super nice of her, since it means she has to basically sleep in the kitchen. Their "living room" is _that_ small. I tried not to stare, but I can't really help it. Everyone notices, since I have these big grey eyes that look like beacons. Yumi said they're the first thing she noticed about me.

But forget Yumi.

Mrs. Sakamoto is a short, thin woman with a pixie haircut that's already greying at the temples. Deep crow's feet formed at the corners of her eyes when she smiled at me.

"Ryuji told me lots of good things about you," she said, in a surprisingly deep voice.

"No, I didn't!" protested Ryuji, as I blushed.

Mrs. Sakamoto chortled, then said she would be stepping out for a smoke. "Study hard," she said, as she picked up her keys. "I'll make you guys dinner when I come back, okay?"

"I didn't tell her much about your assault thing, okay?" Ryuji said, after she stepped out. "Just that it was all cop bullshit."

"That's okay," I said. "You had to tell her, or she wouldn't have let me come over. What subject do you wanna study?"

"Dude, I thought we were fake-studying," said Ryuji, as we entered his room.

His tiny room, with a window that offered a view of the bricks of another apartment building less than a yard away. His desk was so tiny that we'd have to study on the floor.

"I promised my parents I'd do well on the stupid exams," I said, sitting on the floor and opening my bag. Morgana was napping right on top of my books.

"Okay, good luck with that," said Ryuji, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm a dumbass, though, so I'll just play with my Switch."

"You're not a dumbass," I said, trying to figure out how to get my books without waking Morgana. "You got powers in the Metaverse, right? Would a dumb person be able to do that?"

"Being tough and being smart are two different things," said Ryuji, sliding a little storage container out from under his bed. "Don't worry, I'll use headphones."

"Come on," I whined. Morgana's ears perked up the moment I touched him, so I gave up on not waking him up and just lifted his little feline body. "It's better to study with a partner."

"For real, man," said Ryuji, lying down on his bed and bringing his Switch to his face. The bright yellow case with lightning strike stickers caught my eye. "I'm so behind I'll just slow you down."

"No, teaching is the best way to learn," I said.

Morgana hissed. "And I need copious sleep while I'm in this body. Feline physiology and neuroanatomy has very particular circadian rhythms, you know? Stop interrupting my naps."

"I had to get my books." I shrugged, then looked towards Ryuji. "Come on, how am I supposed to focus on the cell cycle with you having fun right next to me?"

"Just don't look at me," said Ryuji, putting on his headphones.

 _Then I could've just stayed at the attic,_ I couldn't bring myself to say. I didn't want Ryuji to tell me to just leave.

"This monkey is probably too dumb to learn, anyway," said Morgana.

"Excuse me," said Ryuji.

"Joker, you should study with me," said Morgana, licking his paw. "With my guidance, you will be at the top of your class in no time."

"Uh. . ." I looked up at Ryuji.

"First lesson," said Morgana, tail swishing. "Let muscle be muscle. Skull is a blunt tool best utilized in specific, preferably non-verbal situations."

"You know what?" said Ryuji, setting the Switch aside and sitting up. "I _do_ want to study. Let's go, Einstein."

"Okay!" I beamed, selecting the biology textbook.

Morgana huffed, but he didn't argue. Instead, he sauntered to the window and jumped up on the sill, though I don't know what he was looking at all evening. The neighboring brick wall?

"Even if you're behind, it's not slowing me down," I told Ryuji. "Ren says the best way to learn anything is to explain it to someone else."

Like I expected, Ryuji _isn’t_ stupid. It’s more like everyone keeps telling him he’s stupid, so he just assumes that it’s true. He actually knows a lot about biology, since he made sure to eat well and stay in shape back when he was an athlete, and he noticed right away that almost everything under the sun that was slightly edible had some "healthy snack" version in stores, usually at a marked-up price. He had to figure out how not to get scammed somehow.

"You're just too smart to fall for the school's indoctrination," I told him.

He just snorted.

Thankfully, Morgana had zonked out by this point, so he didn't jump in to insult Ryuji some more.

We studied physiology and planned a joint nutrition-exercise routine to maximize our strength in the Metaverse. That might not help with the midterms, but honestly? I think Ryuji will pass, and that’s good enough. I just told him not to worry. If a question on the test seems stupid, that’s because it probably is, and he should go with whatever stupid answer looks least stupid.

I don't mean to sound too full of myself, but I think it went super well. Ryuji got so excited he posted a selfie of us with the books, and then Ann texted us to say we should have invited her because she’s totally going to fail her midterms if she doesn’t get into gear. Considering all she’s been going through, I don’t think failing the dumbass midterms would be a big deal. Didn’t she say her family’s rich, anyway? I guess I understand not wanting to be reliant on them forever. And the school will make a big deal out of it, anyway. I told her I’d invite her to study with us next time.

Ren noticed that pic too and sent Ryuji a clap emoji reaction, so Ryuji found his IG, and we spent a good ten minutes checking out his pictures.

"He's kinda cool, isn't he?" said Ryuji, as we examined one of Ren's many pictures with a hot girl.

"He just does this thing where he visits a new place at least twice a month," I said. "Ren loves exploring things, and when he learned to drive, he started visiting stores, parks, or whatever. He used to take me with him all the time."

"Sounds nice," said Ryuji, stopping by a great picture of a hot spring.

"That's Amagi Inn," I said, smiling. I laid back on the floor. "It's this historic inn in my hometown, probably the only reason we even have a town, honestly. They have amazing hot springs that attract visitors from all over the world - it's practically its own resort. Most guests don't bother with anything else in Inaba, not that I blame them. There's almost never anything to do. Maybe you could visit someday. Amagi Inn, I mean, not the town. Why would you visit that if there's nothing to do?"

I swear, talking is excruciating.

"Looks expensive," said Ryuji, with a shrug. "Hey, this you?"

I looked at his phone screen. Then my eyebrows furrowed. "No, that's Ren when he was around my age. I'm the little kid on his lap."

Why did I say that? That was back when Mom put gel in my hair so my silly bowl cut looked straight. I looked like a little nerd back then.

"Oh, wow," said Ryuji. "Adorable."

"Why did he even post that?" I grunted.

"Something about a meme asking for decade-old pictures," said Ryuji. "He looks just like you, but badass somehow."

"He's just an accountant," I said.

Immediately, I frowned at myself. Why would I argue about Ren being cool? He _was_.

Mrs. Sakamoto knocked on the door then, saving me from further inexplicable embarrassment. Ryuji told her that we were training by ourselves even if Shujin won’t let us join any sports teams officially, and it made her super happy. She cooked ground beef with eggs and a bunch of vegetables for us, which tasted great. Mrs. Sakamoto is awesome! Ryuji’s so lucky that his mom is cool. My mom would have been hovering all over us just because Ryuji has bleached hair. She would never have let him come near our house if he had a criminal record.

The Chariot confidant didn’t level up, which I think is nonsensical. I liked hanging out with Ryuji more than I like drinking Dr. Takemi’s awful experimental drug. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe the FBI doesn’t want to reward me too much.

Yumi sent me a message congratulating me on getting back to studying, but I’m still reeling from the last message about how embarrassing it is for _her_ that _my_ life is ruined. She better apologize to me for real if she wants me to talk to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [twitter account!](https://twitter.com/LaTigra46636273)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting to the end of this I promise, I just don't know how long it is.
> 
> WARNINGS AT END NOTES

**4/25 - Monday**

First day back at Shujin after stealing Kamoshida’s treasure. We all decided to keep escorting Ann in the hallway and during free periods, just in case losing the treasure made Kamoshida an even bigger asshole. He didn’t show up to work today - something about being sick. Nice break for the volleyball team, especially Mishima, but Ryuji and I are still convinced he’s going to jump Ann from behind a bush or something. We’re gonna keep following her around until she tells us to stop, probably.

I got a seat on the train this morning, and it gave me the courage to just tell Yumi that I don’t want to talk to her anymore. Here, Hacker-san:

* * *

 **Me >>>**  
I’m really sorry I caused you trouble  
What happened was like a freak accident  
It still doesn’t feel real  
But honestly?  
It hurt most when you said you never wanted to see me again and then told everyone you were scared of me  
I would never have done something like that to you, no matter what embarrassing thing you did  
Maybe you were lying when you said you loved me, but I wasn’t lying when I said it  
So I don’t want to talk with you anymore  
Sorry

* * *

Then I blocked her before I rambled more embarrassing things at her. If she tells everyone back home that I’m a whiny loser, I’ll just ignore it.

Okay, don’t judge me, Hacker-san, but I’m about to say something awful. I’m kinda bored now that the castle is gone. It’s been like two days, and I feel like I have nothing to do. Studying feels pointless, considering my situation, and there’s only so much I can exercise without hurting myself. Ryuji had to go help Mrs. Sakamoto at her work (they have to clean this huge apartment complex that's opening up soon) and Ann went to spend the afternoon with Suzui at the hospital. I tried to go to the library at Shujin just to see if they had anything interesting, but everyone acted like I was going to set fire to the fiction section. I left when I caught a group of girls looking at me and giggling. Which only took, like, three minutes.

Eventually, I just went to do a shift with Ms. Hanasaki at the underground flower shop. Apparently, someone contacted her to let her know about my record (how freaking jealous and petty do you have to be?), but she said I’d done well on my first shift, so she wanted to give me a chance to explain myself. Besides Ren, no one had bothered to even ask my side of the story (well, Ryuji and Ann, but that was after the castle). Not proud of myself, which I say a lot, I know, but I almost got all teary over it.

Whatever, though. Ms. Hanasaki believes me! She says I can keep doing shifts at the flower shop! Once again, eat me, jealous losers. Now I can make sure I always have enough spare money for the bathhouse and other hygiene essentials. Sakura-san is giving me plenty of food, so that’s not an issue.

Then I just came home early and did my usual brewing coffee-exercise-study routine. Hah, I can’t believe I already have a routine.

**4/26 - Tuesday**

Still bored. Ann and Ryuji are still busy. Sakura-san got me an old TV and DVD player for my room, so I watched The X Files tonight. It wasn’t dubbed, and it didn’t have subtitles, so I told myself it was to study English. It was surprisingly fun, though I did have to pause a lot to google stuff. I must know more English than I realized, though I never speak it out loud. I have enough trouble not sounding dumb in Japanese. Also, who would I even speak English with?

You know, I could probably ask Ann to help me practice English. That way if I do say something stupid to her, I can pretend I don’t know what I’m saying. And then once she likes me, she’ll think the dumb things I say are cute, not annoying. She’s busy with Suzui still, so I have more time to think about it.

I’m missing a real gym more and more every day. I wonder how the gymnastics team is doing back home.

**4/27 - Wednesday**

Nothing much going on today. Overheard a dude this morning saying he has to shower every day because girls like hygienic guys. No shit, man. I can think of a few other reasons to be hygienic, haha. And then Morgana was all, “That applies to you too, Akira”. Like I don’t use the bathhouse daily.

Kamoshida hasn’t shown up to work all week. It’s causing such a ruckus that everyone at Shujin barely has time to talk about me, Ann, and Ryuji anymore. We’re still escorting her though, just in case. Plus, it’s still a fun game.

Ryuji and Ann are _still_ busy, so I did another shift at Rafflesia (the flower shop). Then I came home for the usual coffee/study-exercise-infiltration tools routine. Before that, I did a crossword puzzle with Sakura-san, and he actually complimented me for thinking outside the box. No level up on that confidant thing. I can’t even spell Sakura-san’s without looking it up.

I guess that’s fine. Sakura-san is nice, in his own weird way. He gave me extra curry today, though he did say it was only because I’m behaving myself at school, not because I’m anything special. I think he just likes me but doesn’t want to admit it, haha.

**4/28 - Thursday**

I’m so bored, Hacker-san. There is nothing to talk about. Ryuji’s still helping Mrs. Sakamoto, and Ann says she’s studying for midterms at the hospital, just talking to Suzui so maybe when she wakes up, she’ll remember some stuff and it will help her catch up in her schoolwork. That doesn’t sound like it will work, but if it helps Ann feel better, then it probably won’t hurt.

The highlight of my day was helping Sakura-san during a short rush hour at Leblanc’s. I kinda liked it, which is good, since retail work is all I'll be able to do now that I'm a criminal, haha. Sakura-san said I'd done well and gave me a chocolate truffle as a reward.

**4/29 - Friday**

I almost unblocked Yumi today because I’m so freaking bored, but no. I am disciplined and strong, and I will not speak to her again. Unlike her, I don’t go back on my word.

Ms. Hanasaki didn’t need help at Rafflesia, so I walked around Shibuya today just to get to know the area better. Since I’ve actually saved a bit of extra money, I took the Big Bang Challenge, but I didn't eat the bread to maintain the nutrition plan. Failed, not that I'd been able to eat the whole thing regardless. It wasn't a very exciting day. I did wander over to The Velvet Room door at the Shibuya alley and discreetly talked to the creepy twin guarding the door, since it was the quieter one. She told me her name is Justine, and her sister is Caroline. Western names. This might really be the FBI. According to The X Files, they do a lot of weird stuff.

**4/30 - Saturday**

Hacker-san, when I tell you what I _said_ today, you’re gonna know why I almost never let myself open my mouth in public. I was so embarrassed I’m surprised I didn’t cringe so hard that it dislodged Arséne right out of the sea of my soul.

Why do I keep calling it that?

Anyway, Ms. Kawakami approached me and Ryuji today while we were waiting outside the girl's bathroom for Ann. Not, like, right by the door, just a bit off to the side, but close enough that Ann could find us right away when she finished. We're not _stupid_ , no matter what the rumors say.

"You boys can stop what you're doing with Takamaki," she told us in a low but angry voice. Right there in the hallway.

"What exactly are we doing, ma'am?" Ryuji asked, calmly, but not bothering to whisper.

Kawakami sighed and rubbed her temple. "Look, Mr. Kamoshida put himself on suspension, so there's no need for you two to watch out for Takamaki anymore. Not to this extent."

"Sorry, but we don't know what you mean," said Ryuji, shrugging.

He sounded defiant, but I honestly didn't get what was happening. If Kawakami had known that Ann needed protecting while Kamoshida was in the building, then why didn't she _do_ something? Anything! She's a teacher, too.

"I know you boys are trying to help, and I honestly appreciate it," said Kawakami, crossing her arms like she most definitely did _not_. "But a girl's reputation is very fragile, and it'll be worse for Takamaki in the long run if everyone is convinced that you two are sharing her."

I felt my eyes getting huge in both shock and confusion, but I knew when I needed to shut up so a conversation ended as soon as possible. Ryuji, on the other hand, was at his limit.

"Excuse me, but what the fuck?" he demanded.

Kawakami rolled her eyes. I suppose it was better than her fainting at the vulgarity.

"People are wondering why you two aren't jealous of each other," said Kawakami. "Obviously, they'll say that Takamaki is not. . . discerning, and it will invite more mistreatment."

"Are you saying this is her fault?" asked Ryuji, softly.

"No, I'm saying it's _yours_ ," said Ms. Kawakami. "Give her some space."

So I don't know what came over me, but I blurted out the dumbest possible thing: "Maybe we're not jealous because _we're_ boyfriends!"

Ryuji and Kawakami just kinda stopped and looked at me. And I just looked at them back, and it took me a good ten seconds to realize what I just said, with Morgana squirming in my backpack, and I wanted to _die_.

Almost like she'd heard me psychically screaming for help, Ann walked out of the bathroom. She noticed Ms. Kawakami right away and ran towards us, which prompted Ms. Kawakami to glare at us and walk away.

"What was that about?" asked Ann.

"Come on," said Ryuji. "We'll catch you up on the roof."

People looked at us as we headed upstairs. I told myself to calm down, that they always looked at us, and maybe no one heard what I said.

"So, he's not coming back anymore?" Ann said, after we were on the roof and Ryuji had brought her up-to-date.

"Sounds like," said Ryuji.

"Losing the Treasure is affecting his motivation in every part of life," said Morgana, from his spot between them, perched on some kind of hood that covered one of the school's generators.

"Do you think he might hurt himself?" asked Ann.

"I'm not sure," said Morgana.

"We knew that would be a possibility," said Ryuji.

Ann made a brief, humming noise, and they fell silent.

I stood a bit away from them, looking down at the ground, watching as Shujin's students walked around in the courtyard, chatting among themselves. In the Metaverse, I'd be looking for ways to make the jump with a grappling hook, but out in the real world? It really was a miracle that Suzui had survived.

"Anyway, Ms. Kawakami said. . ." Ryuji huffed. "She said a lot of shit. Blah blah blah, maybe us following you around all the time is not worth the gossip anymore."

"But we will, if you want us to!" I rushed out, from like a foot away.

"Yeah, totally," said Ryuji.

I still didn't move closer today.

"No, I'm tired of it," said Ann. "I mean, not that I'm not grateful to you guys. I really am! But it sucks that I can't walk around my own school in peace."

"I get it," said Ryuji.

Me, too. If nothing else, it was annoying to have to be ready to drop everything when Ann needed to be in the hallway for, like, five minutes.

"Maybe it'll be more convenient if I stay in your backpack for a while, Lady Ann," said Morgana.

"Dude, what exactly are you gonna do?" Ryuji rolled his eyes. "Hiss at creeps?"

"I'll have you know that my claws can rend fragile human flesh like it's butter," said Morgana. "Would you like me to demonstrate?"

"Guys, please don't fight," said Ann, with a little giggle. "I really wanna try being on my own again, but thanks, Morgana. I'm sure you _would_ have been menacing." She scratched at the back of his ears lightly, and he purred.

"Okay, but let us know if anyone tries anything," I said. "We're still gonna be right here."

"Yeah," said Ryuji. "Say the word, and Aki and I will corner whatever douche and go full yakuza on them."

"Not even gonna ask what you mean by that, but okay!" said Ann.

I was just glad that Ryuji was talking about "us" doing something together, even if it was just scaring off Ann's gross harassers. Which sounded kind of fun, in and of its own.

After school, Ryuji didn't bring up what I said, so I'm hoping if he was mad that he just forgot. The rumor now is gonna be that we're doing a threesome with Ann. . . But that's basically the same rumor, so maybe it won't make a difference.

It's not that I would care if they start saying I'm gay, Hacker-san. They already say I'm a yakuza, drug-addled bomber, haha. Being the gay kid would be an upgrade, at this point. They used to say that I'm gay back home even before the assault, at least for a little while. I ignored it, and eventually, I was just the lone boy in the gymnastics team who did girly things like. . . I don't know? Eat girly food? But I was on the gymnastics team; I was just eating with my teammates.

Then I started dating Yumi, and I was the lone boy in the gymnastics team who also had a hot girlfriend, and that was it. That’s not why I started dating Yumi, but it was nice to be able to go around school without worrying about accidentally making eye contact with a random boy and sending him into some weird fit because I was "trying to turn him gay". Which only happened a handful of times, but every time was weird as hell. Some of those guys were staring at me, not the other way around. My dad told me once that it would be "understandable" if I wanted to quit the team due to “this particular stress", but I just got mad and told him I wasn't doing anything wrong, and the guys at school should mind their own business.

I thought he was going to ground me for speaking back to him so disrespectfully, but he just patted my shoulder and said that I was right, and that it's good to be brave and stand up to bullies. The gay thing just didn't bother me after that. Even if Dad always looked bored at gymnastics competitions, I knew he was proud of me anyway.

Or so I thought, before that thing with the politician. I was so dumb.

When the thing with the assault happened, I was sure the neighborhood was gonna burn down my house. Yumi wasn't the only girl who was worried I was some dangerous, violent pervert. They’d known me for literal years, and I’d never caused problems - not that kind of problem, I mean - and all of a sudden, I’m _dangerous_. I’m still so mad about it. My record was so clean I got to use the girl’s locker room sometimes - when the gymnastics team was training alone on the weekend, and after Coach checked to make sure the girls were finished. It was just easier than opening the boy’s locker room only for me. Regardless, the allegation against me wasn’t that I sexually assaulted or even harassed a girl.

I’m sorry for the whiny sermon, Hacker-san. I was just upset because Ryuji might panic and refuse to hang out with me again. I don’t care what the randoms at Shujin say about me, but I think it’ll really hurt if Ryuji swears me off and starts calling me a pervert.

But I don’t think that’s gonna happen anymore. Ryuji just texted me to panic about midterms and invite me to study together. Probably, he just forgot about my dumb comment, and I had a meltdown for no reason. That’s what Ren says. Sometimes, the stupid little mistakes you make that gnaw at you the most are so insignificant that the people around you don’t even notice them. Haha, even Morgana asked me why I looked kinda nauseous all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note for internalized and not-so-internalized homophobia here. It's nothing graphic or violent, but I know loads of people don't like that in their fic so I figured I'd put a content note of some kind. 
> 
> My [twitter account!](https://twitter.com/LaTigra46636273)


End file.
